Bucket o' Parodies
by TurtleMAR07
Summary: A collection of parodies based on funny songs and scenes from funny shows! Pure humor, no pairings, totally random and doesn't make sense! WARNING: stupidness may cause seizures and fits of laughter. R&R or my rubber chicken will chainsaw you to death.
1. Where's My Money!

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES **

**Where's My Money?!**

**(authors note and disclaimer at bottom of page)**

**Aryn: YAHOO! CHAPTER ONEEE!**

**Me: Ok, this is a series of chapters. duh. each chapter is a parody of something else. I don't know how many chapters there will be but I might be slow with updating. **

**Brandi: WE ARE THE MUSES. We start showing up in later chapters. you won't see us in the early ones. **

**Roy: NOBODY LOVES ME!**

**Aryn: ...emo...**

* * *

Roy Mustang was taking bets on the turnouts of the annual chimera races. Jean Havoc walks in and places a $50 bet that the red chimera would win. (A/N: gomen, I can't think of any names for them.) Later, at the Central Stadium, the raced were about to take place.

Havoc was sure he was going to win the bet because the red chimera was the fastest. Unfortunately, the red chimera lost to the plaid chimera (A/N: XD).

_Sometime later…_

Havoc was sitting at his desk silently hoping that Mustang forgot that he owed him 50 bucks.

"knock, knock" came Mustang's voice from the doorway. "Oh, hey there, Colonel." Said Havoc.

"So, um, Havoc?" Mustang started "Do you have my money?"

"Huh, Oh, yeah, I'll pay you soon" replied Havoc.

"Yeah, Well, um, here's the thing. Um, Have the money by tomorrow and there won't be any problems." Mustang said.

"Huh?" said Havoc. "Yeah." Replied Mustang "24 hours."

"Why, wh-what happens in 24 hours?" questioned Havoc.

"Pshh, I don't know, I'm not psychic-man, I'm just saying it would probably be better for everyone if you had the money tomorrow."

"Yeah, all right I'll see what I can do."

"Sweet, sweet, yeah, great. See you later! Don't forget!...Nah! You're not gonna forget!"

_24 hours later…_

Havoc was coming out of the restroom, and when he opened the door, Mustang was standing there with a glass of orange juice.

"Mustang! Uh, Hi!" said Havoc.

"Hey, there, so, uh, you got my money? It's been 24 hours"

"Oh, Uh, sorry I, you know what, just wait until next Friday, and I'll have it for you then." Havoc replied.

"Ph, that's funny, I could've sworn I said have it today."

"Yeah, well I don't have it, sorry."

"Oh, well, alright then." Mustang said as he drained the last of his orange juice. "Mmmm, that's good OJ!" He says and then smashes the glass over Havoc's head.

"AUUUUUUUUGH AHHHHHHHHH OWWWWWWWWW!!!!!"

"huh, Huh, did that hurt?"

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

"yeah, think so! No, doesn't feel so good, does it?!"

"AUGGGHHHHHHH AHHHOWWWWWW AHHHHHHHHHGH!!!"

Mustang then kicks Havoc in the shin. "AUGGGH!!"

Mustang continues kicking and punching him until he is on the ground. "Yeah! That's what happens, man!"

"AUGH! OW! OH MY GOD!"

"that's what happens!" Where's my money? You gonna give me my money? Huh? Are ya?!?"

"where's my money, Man?" (A/N: by the way, if you don't like violence, stop reading. Now. And how this is taking place in central command without anybody noticing is beyond me. Hey. It's fanfiction.)

Mustang then walks over to the towel rack and grabs one of the bars off and starts whacking Havoc with it.

WHACK! "where's the money?!" "AHHHHHHHHH OH, OWWWWW AUGHHHHH!" WHACK! " Huh, you like that, that feel good? That feel good?!"

Mustang drags havoc, now bleeding on the ground, to the toilet bowl.

He shoves Havoc's head into the toilet and repeatedly closes the lid over his head. "Where's My Money man? Where's my money?"

Havoc drops to the ground and Mustang shouts, "you got till 5:00! You hear me? 5:00!!"

"YOU FREAKIN PSYCOPATH!!!" screamed Havoc.

"And clean yourself up." Said Mustang, dropping a towel on Havoc.

_5:00 (I hope you can guess what's going to happen now…):_

Havoc walked out of the office just in time to spot Mustang playing golf in the hallway (A/N: It will be helpful to you to read my author's note at the bottom. Really).

'uh-oh' he thought and ran back into the office and came back out wearing a fake moustache.

"Mornin'" he said as he passed Mustang.

"Well, good day to you, sir!" said Mustang. "Heeey, Wait a minute! What the hell?!"

He runs over and pushes havoc down the stairs. "AHHHH, AHHH, AHHHHHH!" he screams as the moustache falls off.

BONK, BONK! SMASH! CRASH!

"oahhhhhh, ohhh, ahhhh. Oww." **Sigh** "OAWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!"

"gettin' real tired of you duckin' me, man!" Yeah!"

"oh my god, AHHH!"

"Yeah? How you like that? Huh?" (Forgot to mention that right now, Mustang is beating havoc with a golf club! XD!)

"I'm really tired!"

Havoc continues grunting, screaming, and 'ow'ing.

WHACK! "OW!" WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! "AGHHHHHH!" WHACK! WHACK!

"Where's my money?!"

WHACK!

"Yeah, you got money to pay for fake moustaches, huh?!" Do Ya?"

"Yeah, yeah, how much did you pay for that fake moustache?" asked Mustang.

"$2.99!"

WHACK! WHACK!

Mustang then takes out a gun and shoots Havoc in his right kneecap.

"AUGHHHHHHHH! OHHHHH! YAAAHHHHHH!"

"Listen, you just gotta give me more ti-!" BANG! "AGHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Don't make a fool out of me, man! Don't make a fool out of me! I want my money Man!"

"I want my money, man!"

"**Pant, pant**, Colonel, Listen this is crazy, you gotta- OH MY GOD!!!" Mustang is standing there with a flamethrower and points it at Havoc.

"EYAAAAAHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHH!" Mustang stops the flame thrower with Havoc on the ground, burnt to a crisp.

He then says,

"All right, let's go to the bank."

END.

**A/N: ok, this was inspired by a clip from Family guy called "Where's my money". I saw it on youtube and thought it was pretty funny. You can watch it if you go to Search for "Where's My Money" And click on the picture with Stewie and Brian. It's probably a picture of Brian bleeding. Please leave a review. If you hated this and are wishing to flame, just don't review at all. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or Family Guy or the theme for this story. I just combined the two shows and put it on FanFiction. Honestly. Sorry, if the format for this story is wacky and if some of the author's note is underlined. is making the format look weird. My break lines aren't showing up either!! emo tear R&R please!**

_Title and slogan are copyright 2007 of AnimeAddict333 and may not be used or duplicated without her permission.No one May use AnimeAddict333's ideas without permission. Quack Experimental FanFiction belongs solely to AnimeAddict333 and the producers of Excel Saga. No one may use this title._


	2. What I Bought On eBay

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**What I Bought On eBay **

**HOWDYYYYY!!! Yeah, 2 updates on 2 stories in 2 days! Thank my school for not having school today and yesterday! (Teacher workdays because it's the end of the semester. Although I'm a little scared to see my report card…)**

**As you may realize, this story is no longer a oneshot. I'm making it a series of parody/humor fics. So it is no longer called "Where's my Money". Sorry if it confuses you.**

**This chapter: "What I Bought On eBay" songfic. It's by Weird Al Yankovic (sp?) and is a spin-off of the song "I Want It That Way" by the backstreet boys. Read the ending authors note for more details.**

**DISCLAIMER-MAHN (I've been talking in a bad island accent all day! XD) : I own not FullMetal Alchemist-mahn or the eBay song or the Backstreet boys or Weird Al Yankovic….mahn.**

**$$&(&&$#&&(&&$#**

_Yeah_

_A used ... pink bathrobe_

_A rare ... mint snowglobe_

_A Smurf ... TV tray_

_I bought on eBay_

"YESSSS! IT CAME IT CAME!!!!" Shouted Alphonse Elric as he ran into Colonel Mustang's office.

"Huh? What is it Al?" came the voice of a slightly confused Edward Elric. Ed was in the middle of giving mustang his latest report from their missions.

"Oh Brother, you'll never believe it! My pink bathrobe was just delivered!" Alphonse exclaimed jumping around the office like a chipmunk on crack.

Ed's face contorted into that of utmost confusion and mentally questioned his younger brother's sanity. "Al, Did you just say your 'pink bathrobe' came?"

"Uh-huh! I've been waiting for days!"

"And may I ask from where you were able to get a pink bathrobe?" questioned Roy.

Al gave him one of those 'Are you crazy?!' looks and said in a hyper-drunk-squirrel-like voice, "FROM EBAY OF COURSE!"

_My house ... is filled with this crap_

_Shows up in bubble wrap_

_Most every day_

_What I bought on eBay_

That night when the brothers went back to their dorm room, what he saw shocked Ed out of his cool-looking boots. (seriously, I LOOOVE Ed's boots!).

"ALLLLPHOONSEEEEEE!!" What the hell is all this CRAP?!?!" Screamed Ed so loud he scared the people in the neighboring countries.

"It's my stuff! Remember? I told you about eBay this morning when my bathrobe arrived!" Al was still in a surprisingly good mood standing next to an Ed that looked like it had rabies.

"What…..the….hell…..is….eBay?" Ed questioned foaming at the mouth; livid that his bed was covered in bubble wrap.

"Oh, I'm so glad you asked nii-san! eBay is an online store where you can buy many things for cheap that other people don't want! That's what I've been doing everyday when you couldn't find me!"

"YOU…TOLD….ME…YOU…WERE…AT…THE…HUGHSE'S HOUSE!!!" Edward was now boiling over with anger.

"yes…but I wanted to surprise you, Brother."

"OH, I'M SURPRISED ALLRIGHT!"

_Tell me why (I need another pet rock)_

_Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)_

_Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee)_

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and Maes Hughes came bounding in.

"Hey Edward!" He said in his usual annoyingly happy voice.

"Oh, Hi Mr. Hughes. What do you want? I'm in the middle of scolding my brother.

"Oh, wellIjustwantedtoshowyouwhatjustarrivedtodayit'ssooooocute!" Said Maes really, really quickly.

"….What?" Asked Ed.

"It's my brand new…..PET ROCK!!!" And sure enough, there in a box, was a full-fledged, pedigreed, pet rock.

Ed sweat dropped. Big time. "NOT YOU TOO! ARGGHHH! I'M SURROUNDED BY FREAKS!" Ed shouted as he did that angry-as-hell move that he did in that episode where he was crawling around in the vents.

"you got a pet rock? LUCKY!" said Al as he went to look over Hughes's rock.

"Why are you calling ME lucky? You got a toupee!"

"YEAH I DID! I'm the luckiest guy in the world! I got a toupee!"

"**WHY THE HELL DO YOU NEED A TOUPEE?"**

_They had it on eBay_

_I'll buy ... your knick-knack_

_Just check ... my feedback_

_"A++!" they all say_

_They love me on eBay_

_Gonna buy (a slightly-damaged golf bag)_

_Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag)_

_(From some guy) I've never met in Norway_

_Found him on eBay_

The next morning, Ed's back was reeeealy sore.

"What's the matter, Brother? Did you not sleep well?"

"BAKA! (Idiot) YOU try sleeping on 16 layers of bubblewrap!"

"Oh, sorry to hear that, but it's all right! I got you a present from eBay!"

X( Ed's facial expression

"What is it Al?" Asked an unsure Edward. "BEANIE BABIES!!" exclaimed Al.

" AL, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?"

" gasp ! Be nice brother! You wouldn't want them to pick up your bad attitude! They're still young!" Al covered the ears of the beanie babies.

"he's right Edward. Use better language around the young 'uns." Said Hughes. "…WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE HUGHES!"

"Oh, nii-san, Mr. Hughes and I stayed up all night eBay-ing."

"Oh, Alphonse where did you get these beanie babies anyways?" questioned Hughes.

"From some guy in Norway." Came Al's reply.

"Ohhh."

"**WHERE THE HELL IS NORWAY?"**

_I am the type who is liable to snipe you_

_With two seconds left to go, whoa_

_Got Paypal or Visa, what ever'll please ya_

_As long as I've got the dough_

They were back at Central when Al said, "Hey Brother I've got a paypal account now so it's even easies for me to eBay now!"

"**_G R E A T.."_** came the shrimp's reply that was dripping with sarcasm.

The whole eBay phase had been going on for about 3 days now and it was showing no signs of ever leaving.

Hughes came in and lifted up a pile of dough and said, "He's even got the dough!"

Just then, Ed face-faulted into the ground.

_I'll buy ... your tchotchkes_

_Sell me ... your watch, please_

_I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy ...)_

_I'm highest bidder!!!_

"BROTHERRRRRR!" Al sang in a singsong voice as he skipped down the halls. "Wheeerreee areeeee youuuuuu?"

Edward, who had taken the liberty of hiding in the janitors' closet was now afraid of Al and Maes. So far today, Al had shown him a watch that went on your wrist and a golf bag that was missing a pocket. Frankly, Ed didn't know how much more he could stand.

"Niiiiiii-Saaaaaaan! Come on out! I'm the highest bidder! Again!"

Hughes came up to him and said, "no luck?"

"Uh-uh."

_(Junk keeps arriving in the mail)...(For Me!)_

_(From that worldwide garage sale)_

_(Hey! A Dukes Of Hazard ashtray)_

_Oh yeah ... (I bought it on eBay)_

The postman showed up at the front gates of the command center. "Postage for a Mr. Alphonse Elric!" he shouted.

Hughes and Al looked at each other with huge grins on their faces, as they ran to the postman passing the closet where shrimpy was hiding. When they got to the gate, Al signed for the package and opened it. "OH YEAH!!! My Dukes Of Hazard Ashtray arrived!!"

Back in the closet…

'Ashtray? What does he need an ashtray for?' thought Ed. 'Well; I'm safe for now. But I can't hide here forever! What am I going to do what am I going to do?'

Just then the closet door opened to reveal…

_Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox)_

_Wanna buy (a case of vintage tube socks)_

_Wanna buy (a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre, Dr. Dre)_

_(Found it on eBay)_

Alphonse and Hughes were standing there wearing various pairs of tube socks, holding PacMan lunchboxes and Al's ashtray.

"BROTHER!! What were you doing in the supply closet?"

"uhhhh, looking for my….uhhh…mop! yeah, I was looking for my mop!"

"Whatever brother."

"Hey Al, Why do you have an ashtray?"

"It's for Lt. Havoc."

"Oh."

Hughes then got a gleam in his eye and announced, "HEY! I'm auctioning off a cleenex used by Dr. Dre! Who wants it?"

"Ohhhhh! MEmemememememememe! I do" said Al.

"Well, you'll have to be the highest bidder!" said hughes

"WHO THE HELL IS DR. DRE?" said…just guess, ok?

_Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcet poster)_

_(Pez dispensers and a toaster)_

_(Don't know why ... the kind of stuff you'd throw away)_

_(I'll buy on eBay)_

By the end of the day, Hughes and Al had driven Ed to the brink of suicide and had to keep him in a strait jacket so that he wouldn't do anything rash. In the meantime, they were comparing their pez dispenser collection and playing Dai Hin Min with a set of cards Hughes had gotten from you-know-where.

"Oh Ed, look at this!" Al said showing Ed a poster of Farrah Fawcet.

"Oh wow, She's pretty. But not as pretty as my wife of course!" Mentioned Hughes.

(A/N: guess what Ed will say…)

After the sun had gone down, Ed and Al returned to their dorm room. When Ed went to go to sleep after a loooong week, there was the Philosopher's stone sitting on his bed. His eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"Al…Where did you get this?"

"I bought it on eBay!!!"

And then, a cat burst through his armor and started scratching Ed's head.

"Oh, and I got the cat on eBay too!"

Ed then went to the corner, sat down, and that blue/purple fog stuff that appears over anime people's heads when they are depressed appeared over his head. He stayed there for the whole week,

_What I bought on eBay-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y_

**$$&$#$&((&)($**

**Well, there you go mahn! I already have an idea for chapter 3 so it will be up shortly. This chapter was made for P.McTully who has been really nice to me and a friend to me while I've been here! She also had this on her alerts list so I decided, well, why not make another chapter? Thanks! And a big thanks to all my reviewers from the previous chapter!**

**You can hear this song if you go to youtube and search "eBay Song" and click on the picture of the eBay logo on the white background.**

**HAPPY FRIDAY! MAHN!**

**This has also been the longest chapter I've ever written. 8 whole pages!**

**Review please! Once I get 5 reviews, I'll update!**

**  
**_All titles and slogans are copyright 2007 of AnimeAddict333 and may not be used without her permission. No one may use her Ideas for stories unless permission is given. Quack Experimental Anime Belongs solely to AnimeAddict333 and the producers of excel saga. No one else may use this title.  
_


	3. Winry Rockbell: Cat Launcher

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**Winry Rockbell: Cat Launcher  
**

**MwAhahahahahah! This is the 3rd time I've updated my fics in 3 days! I'm on a roll! I'm happy though because my cat, who was sick with a urinary infection is going to be OK! I'm kinda updating by using the "sneaking on" method because my mom took away my laptop so I had to come all the way down to the main computer to update. They aren't going to be back home 'till very late so I took the time to update!! And my brother knows not to tell my parents because I've taken the liberty to tell him the story called "The Little Brother Who died in 6th Grade." Anyways, here's chapter 3 called "Winry Rockbell: Cat Launcher." This is a drabble because it's short because I didn't have as much source material to work with.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own FMA, Family Guy, or a crossbow or a bag of cats.**

 

"We now return to the Resembool news at 5!" spoke the newsman on the news show. Winry Rockbell sighed and put her head back on the couch, and resumed eating her popcorn. Winry wasn't very happy right now. She had lost her favorite wrench. The one Ed had bought her.

She sighed trying to think of a replacement weapon. Just then, there was a knock at her door. She got up, knowing full well that the pizza guy had finally arrived. She opened the door, and saw the pizza guy.

"Pizza for Winry Rockbell!" he said, showing her the pizza. However, when she opened the box, she gasped.

"How dare you! You gave me Canadian bacon instead of bacon! Prepare to meet your maker at the hands of my Cat Launcher!" She declared glaring at the pizza man, who, mind you, was utterly confused at the words 'cat launcher'.

Winry then proceeded to take out a crossbow and a sack full of cats. One by one, she began launching cats at the poor pizza guy. "AAHHHHH!" She then proceeded to chase the poor guy into town.

_**TWANG! "REOWWWW!" THWAK!, TWANG! "REOOOOOOWOWWW!" THWAK!**_

_**TWANG! "MEOWROWWWW!" THWAK!, TWANG! "REOMEOOOW!" CRASH!!**_

The cat that was just fired had crashed through the glass of the "Resembool Adult Video Store".

Just then, Edward, Havoc, and Mustang were walking by. They saw that the glass through the window of the store was broken. "Hey, someone tried to break into the dirty movie store!" said Ed. "Quick, grab as many as you can before anyone sees!" said Havoc. All three grabbed an armful of videos and ran out of the store.

Winry then came back in front of the store and said to herself, "Damn, I lost him! Oh well, come on kitties, back in the bag! Come on Mittens, come on Fluffy, come on Paul." She paused, then said laughing, "Paul! Hahahaha! What a ridiculous name for a cat! That's a person's name! Hahahahohohahaha! Paul…who names a cat Paul?...paul!"

After that, Winry and her cats, including Paul(Who, by the way, was the one who broke the glass to the video store) went back home.

But Winry's happiness didn't last long when she found the pizza bill on her door. Boy, did she have to pay a lot.

"Pizza Company! Prepare to meet your maker at the hands of my 'Chinchilla Launcher'!"

 

**Chinchillas, by the way are little puffy, harmless animal…things. Anyways, hope you liked it! You wan see this Video at and search "Cat Thrower." Yeah, I need to find some other source for my parodies than youtube. **

**Oh yeah, NO CATS OR PIZZA DELIVERY GUYS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS FIC! EVEN PAUL WASN'T HURT WHEN HE CRASHED THROUGH THE WINDOW. I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed so far and the next chapter will be up shortly. Thank you to all these wonderful people:**

**h.l.stealth**

**ITookThisName**

**P. McTully**

**Rissa Havoc**

**Yorick-chan**

**Thank you guys! Your reviews mean a lot to me! Chapter 4 up soon! If I stay on a roll, I might even have it up tomorrow!**

_All slogans and titles are copyright 2007 of AnimeAddict333, and may not be used without her permission. No one may use her story ideas unless permission is given. Quack Experimental FanFiction belongs solely to AnimeAddict333 and the Producers of Excel Saga. no one else may use this title._**  
**


	4. Seven Deadly Sins

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**Seven deadly Sins  
**

**I am back!!! With chapter 4!! Ok, Yeah I'm updating a lot these days. This chapter is titled "Seven Deadly Sins" because well, it's about the sins and I like the song. THIS.CHAPTER.IS.CRACK.IT.HAS.NOTHING.TO.DO.WITH.THE.SONG.EXCEPT.THAT.IT'S.ABOUT.THE.SINS.**

**NOTICE: Ok, you all know that this story was previously titled "Where's My Money?" right? Then I changed it. However, when I made the adjustments to the story info. On my account, it would not let me change the character category to "All". So you will have to search characters Roy M. and Jean H. Which were the characters when this was still a one-chapter fic. Just wan to make sure people can find it. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or the sins or an AquaMan action figure. Only envy would want one of those.**

**-----------THESTUPIDLINETHATWON'TSHOWUP-----------**

_Sail away where no ball and chain_

_Can keep us from the roarin' waves_

_Together undivided but forever we'll be free_

_So sail away aboard our rig_

_The moon is full and so are we_

_We're seven drunken pirates_

_We're the seven deadly sins_

_So the years rolled by and several died_

_And left us somewhat reelin'_

_Johnny strummed his Tommy gun_

_Left blastin' through the ceiling_

_So what became of rebels_

_Who sang for you and me?_

_Grapplin' with their demons_

_In the seach for liberty_

It was a (somewhat) quiet morning in Dante's mansion. Only Dante wasn't happy right now. Wrath had tied her to a tree outside and stuffed 16 steaks into her (hideous) dress. Then he sicked 22 half-hyena half lion chimeras on her. But enough about her. This story (and author) doesn't care about her.

"ALRIGHT! Who's the wise guy that took my AquaMan?" Shouted a very cranky, palm tree looking…thing. "Wrath! Did you do something to him??" questioned the palm tree.

"What would I want with your doll, Envy?" asked Wrath.

"Not a doll!" Action figure!" screeched envy.

"riiiight.."

"Listen here, frizzhead, if I find out you DID do something to AquaMan, I'll…make your hair even MORE frizzier!"

"You're one to talk."

_Suffers who suffer all_

_Can swim upon the desert_

_Where avarice have ravaged all_

_In spite of good intentions_

_Don't fill your mouth with gluttony_

_For pride will surely swell_

_But nothing's unforgiven in the four corners of hell_

_Sail away where no ball and chain_

_Can keep us from the roarin' waves_

_Together undivided but forever we'll be free_

_So sail away aboard our rig_

_The moon is full and so are we_

_We're seven drunken pirates_

_We're the seven deadly sins_

_We're seven drunken pirates_

_We're the seven deadly sins_

Greed was walking down one of the never-ending hallways when he smelled something wonderful coming from the kitchen. Of course, greedy as he was, he went to see what he could take. Upon entering the kitchen, he saw Gluttony cooking something in the microwave. He took a closer look and it seemed to look like AquaMan from that show thing. He couldn't care less. So, he continued to follow the smell and found that someone was baking cookies.

"Well, They can always make more. And I want these. So I'll get these." He said. But the person who made the cookies was predicting this would happen. So they had filled the cookies with superglue.

_Envy and its evill twin_

_It crepy in bed with slander_

_Idiots they gave advice_

_But sloth it gave no answer_

_Anger kills the human soul_

_With butter tales of lust_

_While pavlov's Dogs keep chewin'_

_On the legs they never trust_

_Sail away where no ball and chain_

_Can keep us from the roarin' waves_

_Together undivided but forever we'll be free_

_So sail away aboard our rig_

_The moon is full and so are we_

_We're seven drunken pirates_

_We're the seven deadly sins_

_We're seven drunken pirates_

_We're the seven deadly sins_

"Mommy! Mommy! Envy is being mean to me!! Mommy! Mommy?" Wrath had gone rushing into Sloth's room to get protection from thee palm tree known as Envy. But Sloth gave no answer. Why? You may ask. Because she was asleep. Yes. SLOTH is ASLEEP. Bet'cha didn't see that one coming.

"MOMMY!"

"Huh? What is it Wrath?" Answered Sloth, still half asleep.

"It's Envy! He's picking on me!!"

"Oh, go ask Lust for help. Mommy's tired right now." So as Wrath ran down to Lust's room, Adam Sandler jumped out from behind a closet. "hi! Would you like a magic remote, little boy?" He asked.

"You're in the wrong show dude." Replied wrath. But then he got a better idea and killed Adam to give to Gluttony for dinner.

Once he reached Lust's room, he laughed at the sight. Lust was on top of greed (Not doing THAT you perverts!) trying to wrench his mouth open.

"What are you guys doing?" he asked not sure if he really wanted to know.

"Well, apparently greed stole some cookies and they were filled with superglue.

"Oh."

"Why are you in here Wrath?" asked Lust.

"Envy's picking on me."

"Let Sloth deal with it. I'm kinda busy."

"Allright."

_But It's the only life we'll know_

_Blagards to the bome_

_So don't wreck yourself_

_Take an honest grip_

_For there's more tales beyond the shore_

_Ah the years rolled by and several died_

_And left us somewhat reelin'_

_In and out came crawlin' out_

_And spewed upon the ceiling_

_So what became of rebels"_

_That sang for you and me_

_Grapplin; with their demons_

_In the seach for liberty_

"NOOOOOOOOOO! AQUA MAN! WHYYYY?" Envy was currently mourning over a severely melted AquaMan. "YOU!" He pointed a bony finger at Gluttony. "You did this! He was my one and only love! He was the only one that understood me! _Sniff_ ! How could you!"

All this time, Gluttony and Pride were just standing there like morons.

_Sail away where no ball and chain_

_Can keep us from the roarin' waves_

_Together undivided but forever we'll be free_

_So sail away aboard our rig_

_The moon is full and so are we_

_We're seven drunken pirates_

_We're the seven deadly sins_

Pretty soon, all of the sins were gathered around a few graves. One was for AquaMan because Envy had threatened everyone to attend his 'Funeral' and another was marked "Adam Sandler". None of the sins, except for Wrath had seen him. They just used his freaky remote thing to send Rose forward in time to when she was an old lady on her deathbed.

Greed, however, still had his mouth glued shut and they were all wondering if he would ever be returned to normal. Except for Dante who was tied to a tree and being ripped apart by chimeras and Adam Sandler who was dead.

_Sail away where no ball and chain_

_Can keep us from the roarin' waves_

_Together undivided but forever we'll be free_

_So sail away aboard our rig_

_The moon is full and so are we_

_We're seven drunken pirates_

_We're the seven deadly sins_

_We're seven drunken pirates_

_We're the seven deadly sins_

_We're seven drunken pirates_

_We're the seven deadly sins_

**-------------------THESTUPIDLINETHATWON'TSHOWWUP------**

**Well, yeah. This on sucked didn't it. Oh well, I liked it perfectly fine. Thank you to everyone that reviewed:**

**P. McTully**

**h.l.stealth**

**ITookThisName**

**Rissa Havoc**

**Yorick-chan**

**I would really appreciate more reviews. The more reviews I get the faster I update. This story has 274 hits. And 9 reviews. I'm sorry if I sound rude, but I would like you to take 30 seconds to review. Come on people!**

_All titles and slogans are copyright 2007 of AnimeAddict333 and may not be used without her permission. No one may use her ideas in their stories without her permission. Quack Experimental FanFiction belongs solely to AnimeAddict333 and the Producers of Excel Saga. No one else may use this titlle. All rights reserved._


	5. Cat came back 1st Victim: Edward

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**Cat Came Back. Victim Number One  
**

**Ok, since my school is closed for a snow day, I have time to update!! I just want to remind you all that I have nothing against cats, in fact I have 2 of 'em. And I love them both. But one of them is very sick right now which is why I'm doing a bunch of cat-based fics. So these are dedicated to my kitty, Angel. Yes, he's a boy cat but my brother named him and my brother was very little when we got the cats so he randomly chose Angel. I named the other one. His name is Beck. Yeah enough of the cat-rambling. Just wanted to make sure that no one thought I hated cats due to this song and my previous catfic. **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own FMA or the song "Cat Came Back". **

**CATCATCATCATCATCATCATCATCATCATCATCATCAT**

_Old Mister Johnson had troubles of his own He had a yellow cat which wouldn't leave its home; He tried and he tried to give the cat away, He gave it to a man goin' far, far away. _

_But the cat came back the very next day, The cat came back, we thought he was a goner But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away. Away, away, yea, yea, yea _

Edward Elric, The FullMetal Alchemist had a problem. A BIG problem. The cat that Alphonse had picked up when they were in Central during Ed's fight with Mustang had returned. Yes, returned. Al had come in one day saying "Brother, Brother look at this! It's the cat I found back in Central!" Al had been ecstatic. But Edward couldn't have been more annoyed. Winry had come over to ask if she could use it in her cat Launcher, but Al had cried and screamed "NOOOOOOOO!" and ran away.

Ed sighed. No matter how many times he tried to give the thing away, it had just kept coming back. So, with his pen and paper, he set off to brainstorm ways to get the fluff ball out of his life.

_The man around the corner swore he'd kill the cat on sight, He loaded up his shotgun with nails and dynamite; He waited and he waited for the cat to come around, Ninety seven pieces of the man is all they found._

_But the cat came back the very next day, The cat came back, we thought he was a goner But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away. Away, away, yea, yea, yea_

ed went up to old man Jenkins' house the next day. He paid him 500 cenz to shoot the cat next time he saw it. Mr. Jenkins agreed be cause he was a poor man that was going bald. So Mr. Jenkins went out and bought himself a brand new rifle. With brand new bullets. He waited for a while until 5:72 PM (hehe XD.. 5:72) which was the time that Alphonse let his cat out for a walk. Mr. Jenkins soon got tired of waiting, so he went inside to get a cup of coffee incase he was going to be there for a while. Then he stared at a picture of the deceased Mrs. Jenkins. Then he went back outside where he found the cat calmly strolling by. He ran towards the cat firing the bullets one after another. The cat turned around and looked at him.

The next morning, Ed went outside to ask Mr. Jenkins if he shot it. When he go there Mr. Jenkins was lying on the ground in 97 pieces. Poor old Mr. Jenkins. When he got back to his house, the cat was there licking milk from a bowl that Al gave him.

"ARGGGGGH!"

_He gave it to a little boy with a dollar note, Told him for to take it up the river in a boat; They tied a rope around its neck, it must have weighed a pound Now they drag the river for a little boy that's drowned._

_But the cat came back the very next day, The cat came back, we thought he was a goner But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away. Away, away, yea, yea, yea_

Ed was miffed, very miffed. The stupid cat wasn't going away! He then saw a little boy who was taking his little friends up the river in a boat. Ed asked the boy to take the cat up the river far, far away. The boy happily agreed. He tied the cat to the boat hoping to drown it or something. He just wanted it out of his life. So the boy took off, down the long river. Ed walked back home hoping beyond all hopes that the cat was going to be lost forever.

Back on the boat, the little boy and his friends found a deep enough place to drown the cat. Before tossing the cat in, it looked at them one last time.

The next day, the newspaper read "Boy and Friends Drown In River" Ed, however was to stressed out to focus completely on the paper while Al sat in the next room happily petting the demon fluff ball.

_He gave it to a man going up in a balloon, He told him for to take it to the man in the moon; The balloon came down about ninety miles away, Where he is now, well I dare not say._

_But the cat came back the very next day, The cat came back, we thought he was a goner But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away. Away, away, yea, yea, yea_

"Arggh, Alphonse why do you insist on keeping that thing?" Screamed Ed after yet another day of trying to get rid of the cat. "But, brother he's so cute and cuddly! Besides he was freezing. Why do you want him gone so much?"

"Because you know I hate cats Al!"

The next day:

"where are we going, brother?"

"To a hot air balloon."

"Really? I've always wanted to o on a hot air balloon!"

"Oh, we're not going, Al. The cat is." Ed had a plan. A master plan. He was going to give the cat to the man going up in the balloon. 'It's foolproof!' he thought.

So they watched the cat go, the cat being used as a sandbag. Al was in tears. Ed looked like he had completed Mission Impossible.

Meanwhile, 90 miles away…

"so, kitty, why would that boy want to give you away? And such a cruel thing to use you as a sand bag! Let me take you down." The cat looked up at him with pleading eyes as the man untied him.

Back in Resembool…

Ed and Al were outside picking apples for Pinako when they saw something come up the hillside.

Al jumped for joy shouting "KITTY! KITTY YOU'VE COME BACK TO ME!" while Ed attempted suicide.

_On a telegraph wire, sparrows sitting in a bunch, The cat was feeling hungry, thought she'd like 'em for a lunch; Climbing softly up the pole, and when she reached the top, Put her foot upon the electric wire, which tied her in a knot._

_But the cat came back the very next day, The cat came back, we thought he was a goner But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away. Away, away, yea, yea, yea_

Ed was sitting at his desk when he noticed out the window that the cat was walking away. 'It's leaving? It's really leaving? This is the best day of my life!' he thought. But, the reason the cat went back out was he was hungry. And Pinako were out of town and Winry was out in town doing god knows what. So Ed was left to take care of "Stink Wad" as Ed had named it, much to Al's dismay. But the cat was already used to being called "Stink Wad."

But Ed had neglected to feed "Stink Wad" so he had gone out to find his own food. "Stink Wad" came to a telephone pole and started climbing up. When he stepped onto it, however, it electrocuted him and tied him in a knot.

When Al came home he saw "Stink Wad" tied up on the wire where he was trying to eat some birds.

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

_The cat was a possessor of a family of its own, With seven little kittens till there came a cyclone; Blew the houses all apart and tossed the cat around, The air was full of kittens, and not a one was ever found._

_But the cat came back the very next day, The cat came back, we thought he was a goner But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away. Away, away, yea, yea, yea_

The next week, as Ed was getting ready to hang himself, Al had found out that "Stink Wad" was a daddy! Yes, he had little baby kittens! Winry currently had 2 of them and she was training them to sit on a crossbow to be fired at unsuspecting pizza men and Adam Sandler if he ever jumped out at her like he did to Wrath. Al had the other 4 and was dyeing their hair orange so that he could name them Kyo, Kyo II, Kyo III, and Kyo IIII. (A/N: if you've never read Fruits Basket then you won't get the joke I just made.)

And "Stink Wad" was left in Ed's care. "ERGGGH! Damn it! Getting rid of this cat is harder than finding the philosopher's stone! Why won't you go away!" Ed sat in the corner crying and holding one of the beanie babies that Al got him. (A/N: see ch. 2: What I Bought On eBay)

But, later that night, a horrible tornado came. There was one of those cellar-type things under the Rockbell home that they all clambered into. But, there wasn't enough room for all of them.

So Ed, on impulse, kicked "Stink Wad", Kyos 1-4, and Paul II (see Ch. 3) out the cellar door (the same way he kicked Ling and Ran Fan out of the hotel room in that one chapter…). But then Al whacked him and had a cat launched at him by Winry. How she could fit the Cat Launcher in there is beyond me. There was a tiny window where they could see many things go whizzing by such as "Stink Wad", Kyos 1-4, Paul II, a cow, Rose and Noah who then smashed into the side of a building, farm stuff, Pinako, Adam Sandler, Dante and Envy who smashed into the building on top of the other 2, a chainsaw with a girl running after it shouting "NOOOO! My precious!", and many other things.

_They took him to the butcher shop when the butcher was not around, They put him in the grinder where all the meat was ground It chopped and sliced until the cat gave a shriek; The whole town's meat was furry for a week._

_But the cat came back the very next day, The cat came back, we thought he was a goner But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away. Away, away, yea, yea, yea_

Once the tornado was gone, they all climbed outside just to find that "Stink Wad" Was snoozing on top of the roof. Al was so grateful that he had survived, but Winry was grieving the loss of her ammo. But Ed was taking it the worst. He had tried and tried to get the damned thing away from him but it kept coming back. Then he decided. He was going to chop it up himself. So he took it to Dublith too see Izumi. If it could piss her off enough she would surely kill it.

And that is just what it did. While it was there, it meowed something that sounded like "fat" to Izumi. Izumi then took her anger out on Ed thinking that he had put it up to the task. But then she swore she would kill the cat too. So she put it in her meat grinder and chopped it to smithereens. Then having witnessed its death himself, Ed, sporting many injuries from Izumi, made his way back home. But now all the meat tasted like fur. Bleah.

But it came back. Yes, it came back. Ed had never cried this much in his life. He cried more than he did when Barry the Chopper had almost killed him and Winry. He cried so much the house flooded. "Why…hic..Won't it just go AWAYYYYY?"

Just then, a knock at the door came. Al went and got it. When he opened the door, a man in a business suit was standing there.

"Hello." Said the man in a business-like tone. "I'm here for the cat-o-tron 5000. It's a new brand of robotic cat system that acts like a boomerang! It's indestructible and it won't ever run away! The cat-o-tron 5000 will always come back to you! And I seem to have lot my prototype have you seen it anywhere Armor-san?" he asked.

"Oh! Um yes, I have!" Al replied happy to give the man his cat back.

He handed the man his cat and the man looked extremely happy. "Oh, 'Tight Wad'! I was afraid I'd never see you again!"

'Tight Wad?' thought Al. 'Well, brother was close.'

Then the man left with his cat-o-tron 5000 and left the Rockbell home in peace.

"It's…gone? It's…really…gone?"

"Yes, Brother, it's really gone."

In Ed's mind, thousands oh Hallelujah bells were going off. But it didn't last long though. As they say, the cat came back.

**CATCATCATCATCATCATCATCATCATCATCATCAT**

**Ok, folks, there's ch. 5! I know I said it wouldn't be done until Friday, but today was a snow day so I didn't have school. The "calling Izumi fat" thing was the idea of P.McTully; so go read her stories too. And check out her C2! I'm a staff member so if you see any good stories for it please let us know! Oh and please review. I've gotten so many hits on this story but very little reviews. I'm even allowing anonymous reviews. And review to show support for my poor kitty, Angel. He's the reason I'm making a lot of catfics. I've also had many people put this story on their favorites or alerts but even some of them don't review. I need to get some feedback to know how I am doing. Part 2 coming soon! Next Victim: Vato Falman! **

**AnimeAddict333, over and out.**

**Ps. To get to this story, you will need to search name categories Roy M. and Jean H. because those were the characters of the first chapter. **

**And no, these stories are not supposed to make much sense. It's humor/crack. Thanks!**

_All titles and slogans copyright 2007 of AnimeAddict333 and may not be used without her permission. Her Ideas for chapters may not be reproduced or used without her permission. Quack Experimental FanFiction belongs solely to AnimeAddict333 and the producers of Excel Saga. no one else may use this title._


	6. Ed vs The FURBY! DunDunDun

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**Ed vs. The Furby  
**

**Ok, this is based off of a prank call thing I saw on youtube. This chapter is leaning towards the rated M side because of a whole lot of swearing. But it's funny. This chapter is all about Ed calling the toy department because of a defective furby. WOOT. Oh and would it kill you to take 1 minute out of your life to review? I even allow anonymous reviews. The more reviews I get, the faster I update. OK! On to the story!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own FMA. I used to own a furby but then I locked it in a dark closet in our attic and lost the key years ago.**

_**Edward**_

_Toy department people_

Furby

_This is Central Toy Store thank you for calling. How may I help you?_

_**OH! Thank god you've answered! Let me speak to the toy department!**_

_Ok. Please hold._

_**YES! I've got an emergency!**_

_This is Deborah, how may I help you?_

_**Oh! Thank god you've answered! Is this the toy department?**_

_Yes it is._

_**I have an emergency! I'm calling about furby!**_

_I'm sorry, I don't have any._

_**No, I'm not calling because I need the furby, I'm calling because I have a defective furby that's spitting all kinds of violent words at me!**_

_Yes m'am? _

_**I'm a sir.**_

_Yes, sir?_

_**My name is Edward; I bought little furby for my little brother, Alphonse. I promised I'd buy him one because he couldn't have cat!**_

_Yes m-yes sir?_

_**Listen to this Furby! I'm gonna put the furby next to the phone right now! It's making all kinds of demonic noises, and it's making all kinds of cussing and gestures at me!**_

Listen here, you little brat! I'll kill you! Hehehe!

_**Did you hear that?!**_

_Yes sir.._

_**It said it was gonna kill me! Did you hear that? Here, listen it's talking again!**_

Ohhhhh. Beep me!

_**Now it's using profanity! Did you hear that?**_

_Yes sir._

_**Where is this coming from? I think we're looking at a lawsuit here!**_

_Where are you calling from sir?_

_**I'm from my house right now!**_

I'm going to kill your mommy with an axe! Hehe!

_**Did you this hear that?!**_

_Yes sir. Can you hold on a minute please?_

_**It said it was going to kill my mommy with an axe! What kind of crap are you people selling over there?!**_

_Where are you from, sir?_

_**Hang on, it's talking again!**_

Shut the hell up! Jackass!

_**Listen to that how can-**_

I smoke crack! Ohooooo!

_**It just said it smokes crack!!**_

_Sir, can I let you talk to my manager please?_

_**Little furby here is promoting drug use! Yes, put your manager on the phone immediately because I'm calling a lawyer next!**_

_Ok, hold on please._

_**Yes!**_

_Hello, how may I help you please?_

_**Yes, is this the manager?**_

_Yes it is, how can I help you?_

_**Is this a decision making manager or a patsy for the higher-ups?**_

_Sir, how can I help you? I'll try my best._

_**I have a defective furby that I purchased from you guys! It's spitting out all kinds of vulgar and demonic phrases, and I'm about to call a lawyer to sue your ass off!**_

_What did you say the furby is doing? And where did you buy it?_

_**I bought it from your store! Here's a-**_

Alskdjvnsfoie;aker cvmfkjehbac vn,js;vme;sdggbbgf**(hey, it was making a whole bunch of noises that I couldn't spell so I just put down random letters.)**

_**Now it's making the exorcist noises! Hang on!**_

Skdgfvvksiealsvfiupaidjfcrighaihvbo

_**Hang on, lemme, lemme shake it a little bit and see if I can get it to talk!**_

You're a little whore! Hehehe!

_**Did you hear that?!**_

_Sir, are you sure that's the furby doll?_

_**Yes I am! It just called me a whore!!!! Did you hear that?!**_

_I…I..um_

_**Listen!**_

You smell like a camel's ass! Ohhhhh.

_**Now it's calling me a camel's ass! What are you people selling there?!**_

_Well, as far as I know, we sell gifts for-_

_**I'm gonna turn that into Floodstown Mart when I get through with you! This thing is starting to scare the hell out of me!**_

DIE! DIE! DIE! HEHEHE!

_What did you-_

I will spit acid in your eyes and blind you! HEHEHE!

_Oh my god!_

_**It just threatened to spit acid in my eyes and blind me!**_

_I heard!_

_**I think, should I call the police!?**_

_I…I don't know what to do! _

_**WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO?! YOU'RE THE MANAGER!!! I think I'm gonna call the bomb disposal unit and have them take this damn thing away!!**_

Ohhhh! I'm going to give you gonorrhea!

_**Now it's threatening me with sexually transmitted diseases!!!!!**_

_I've never heard a furby doll say any of those things!_

_**Oh right! What the hell is going on! Is this some kind of a joke?!**_

_No! I..uh_

_**If this is your idea of a joke, I'm going to sue your ass off personally, too! You're gonna be living in the street pushing a shopping cart in about 3 weeks!**_

_Sir, Uh, listen!_

I have a gun! I'm going to shoot you now! Hehehehehehehe!

_**Now it's threatening to shoot me with a gun!**_

_Sir, I hear these things, but I-_

_**It's got a gun! It's got a gun!**_

HEHEHEHEHE!

_Uh.._

_**IT'S GOT A GUN!**_

_**NYA NYAGHHHHH AHHHHHH GAHHHHHHHH!**_

_**( A/N:oh yeah, pretend there are a loud series of booms going on right now…)**_

_**AHHHH YAHHHHH!!!**_

HEHEHEHEHE!

_**OH! GAH! YAHHHHH!**_

HEHEHEHEHE!

_Sir? Sir? Oh my god, I.. it, oh I_

_**dial tone**_

**End.**

**Yeah, I know. What the hell. You can view this if you go to youtube and type in exactly as you see it here: ed vs evil furby roy mustang**

**Please leave a review. PLEASE! Special thanks to the people who were very kind to take time out of their lives to review. Happy Friday! Oh and because I broke a promise with P.McTully, you have to start calling me Mr.SirManManBob. **

**Sorry, Peggy. **

_All titles and slogans are copyright 2007 of AnimeAddict3333 and may not be used without her permission. All of her story ideas may not be reproduced in any way without permission. Quack Experimental FanFiction belongs solely to AnimeAddict333 and the producers of Excel Saga. no one else can use this title.All rights reserved._


	7. Ed's Happy Song

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**Ed's Happy Song  
**

**Ah yes, Hello readers who are enjoying this story (though I suspect there aren't very many due to the lack of reviews…) Anyways, I want to say something. I received a PM from a smart-ass who was complaining about the ooc-ness of this collection of parodies. Well, I just want to say that THE WHOLE STORY IS SUPPOSED TO NOT MAKE SENSE. OOC-ness is supposed to be there. If you don't like it, then hit the back button and read another story! Thank you. This is the happy chapter! Wheee! Okay, a few things before I begin:**

**Sophie is a white haired girl from one of the FMA games. She is up at the top of my Anime-people-that-I-hate list with Rose and Noah. I think you could tell from my previous chapters that I am not a Rose and Noah fan. If you watch any scenes from that game or read about it, you will see why I hate Sophie. ED LOVES WINRY, BITCH!!! But I will express my love of EdXWinry in my other stories because this is a no-pairings fic. **

**Ok, enough of the pointless drabbling. On with the story! **

**DISCLAIMER: I have 20 dollars. Do the math. FMA ©Hiromu Arakawa. BOW BEFORE HER GREATNESS YOU MORTALS!**

**---------stupidlineisstartingtopissmeoffbigtime-------**

The sun was shining over the Central Command center and Everyone was in a good mood. Well, almost everyone.

"Damn it. I hate paperwork. That's the only thing I do around here. Always paperwork. I wish I had a slave who could do this for me…" And so Roy went off fantasizing about becoming Fuhrer and bossing people around and stuff.

"HI ROY!"

"Oh, hello FullMetal."

"Guess what?" asked Ed

"What is it Edward, I'm busy here."

"I'm happy!"

"You're happy?"

"Well, yeah! Of course I am! They're serving ramen in the cafeteria!" Ed responded practically bouncing off the walls.

"Ok then."

"hey Roy, can I borrow your pocket watch?"

"Why?"

"I just want to see it! Please?" Ed looked up at him with big watery eyes.

"Ok fine, just leave me alone"

"Ok, Thanks!"

10 minutes later….

"Edward?"

"Yeeeeeess?" replied Ed in a singsong voice.

"Where's my pocket watch?"

"I ate it."

"You ate it?"

"Yep."

Mustang was about to explode. Ed was annoying the hell out of him ant this paperwork had to be in by noon.

"Edward, go annoy someone else, I have to finish this."

"But there's no one else around. So to help you out with your depression I'll sing you a song!"

"Uh, that's not necessary, Ed!"

"Oh come on! It'll cheer you uuuuuup!"

"Edward if you sing, I swear I will burn you to a crisp!"

"Oh no you wont!" said Ed holding up Ed's fire gloves.

"HOW DID YOU HET THOSE?!"

"I have my ways. Now for the song!"

"Please don't."

"ohhhhhh, I am really special 'cuz there's only on of me! Look at my smile, I'm so damn happy other people are jealous of me! When I'm sad and lonely, I like to sing this song; it cheers me up and shows me that I won't be sad for long!" Ed sang dancing around the room.

Mustang was getting really annoyed. First, he somehow ate his pocketwatch and now he was singing and dancing around the room. This was going to be a long day…

"I'm so happy I can barely breathe! Puppy dogs and sugar frogs and kittens' baby teeth! Watch out all you mothers, I'm happy it's hardcore, happy as a coupon for a $20.00 whore!"

Edward, please, you're giving me a migraine!" Roy said, rubbing his temples.

But just then, Sophie walked in and cried, "Edward, there you are! I've been looking everywhere for yo…" She was stopped mid-sentence because she was shot by a cat from a random girl who had somehow gotten a hold of Winry's cat launcher. Sophie ran away and the girl chased her and following her was her legion of zombie ninjas carrying a chainsaw.

Meanwhile, back with Ed and Mustang…

"I'm really happy, I'm sugar-coated me! Happy: good; Anger: bad that's my philosophy!"

"Ed, please! I'm NOT happy and I'm trying to work! Go annoy someone else!"

But Ed wasn't listening. He was currently lying on his side on the ground spinning himself around with his feet.

"I am really special 'cuz there's only one of me! Look at my smile I'm so happy other people are jealous of me! These are my love handles and this is my spout but If you tip me over, I'll knock you out!"

Mustang was now at the point of tears. His head had hit the desk and he was sobbing continuously into his paperwork. 'make him go away!' he thought.

Ed was n now doing the can-can on the sofa. And singing the first verse over and over again until Mustang interrupted by singing:

"I am special I am happy I am going to heave! Welcome to my happy world, now get your shit and leave!"

Ed looked taken aback. "but don't you want to be happy?"

"NO! I want to finish this work! Then I'll be happy! NOW LEAVE!"

"Fine Mr. Poopy pants."

Ed sang the last lyrics of the song to Mustang: "I am happy I am good, I'm…I'm outta here!" and with that he left the office.

While he was walking down the hall, he saw Sophie dead on the ground and while he passed her, said : "screw you!"

Back to Roy…

'Damn! He still has my pocket watch! Well, now that I think about it, when it comes back out, I don't think I'll want it back…'

'Well at least I have peace and quiet!' **(y'all know what happens when someone says something like that!)**

Just then, Hughes cam in.

"HEY ROY! Guess what? Oh, I am really special 'cuz there's only one of me!"

And that day was marked in history as the day the entire central command center blew up and burst into flames.

----------whywon'titshowup?stupidline.--------

**Well, there you go. If you want to hear this song, go to youtube and search "Ed is happy"**

**IMPORTANT:**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'd like to give a shout-out to the only person who took a shot at the riddle that I posted on my profile. Every week, I will post a new riddle on my profile and the people who guess it right will get a shout-out on my next chapter of this story. **

**Congrats to Snowing Petals  who got the answer right. **

**And a thank you to fornwalt who took a guess but didn't get it right.**

**The answer was: Electric trains don't have smoke.**

**Please review. Don't you like it when people review your stories? Anyways, from now on I will update this story on Saturday of every week along with the answer to the riddle for that week. **

**END OF IMPORTANT NOTICE**

_All titles and slogans are copyright 2007 of AnimeAddict333 and may not be used without her permission. No one may use her story ideas without her permission. Quack Experimental FanFiction belong solely to AnimeAddict333 and the producers of Excel Saga. no one else may use this title._


	8. The A TeamFeaturing PMcTully

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS: **

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**The A-Team Featuring P.McTully  
**

**Alrighty here! I'm going to try to shorten my authors notes a bit since they've been really long. As promised, the winners, people who tried, and answer to the riddle of the week are featured below. But please still read the chapter. The new riddle will be posted tonight (Saturday), or tomorrow (Sunday). Please read the rules for entering and the riddle in my profile. Now onto the story!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own FMA because that is ©Hiromu Arakawa. Family Guy is ©whoever makes Family guy. And the Legion of zombie ninjas is ©P. McTully. But the rest is mine. Which is not much…**

**$&$$&(**

_**Indicates weird TV announcer dude**_

Indicates normal speak

_Indicates thoughts_

**Indicates annoying authors notes that I put in to annoy people**

Indicates weird heroic music

**-----damn line--------**

- Cues heroic theme music from action movies -

_**In 2007, a group of total retards won a costume contest at an '80s TV convention. These men promptly returned home and drank some orange juice that was secretly filled with crack. Today they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, If no one else can help, and if you have nothing better to do than read this caffeine-high author's stories, maybe you can hire THE A-TEAM!**_

_**Starring: Roy Mustang as "John 'Hannibal' Smith"**_

_**Wrath as "Face"**_

_**Edward Elric as "Howlin' Mad Murdoch**_

**_And Alex Lois Armstrong (_He hasn't been in anything yet so I decided, Oh what the hell!)_ As B.A. Baracus!_**

Cues end of heroic theme music –

"There she is boys! All done! The A-team is all ready to rid the world of injustice and evil!" Roy-I mean John Hannibal-said after painting an odd orange stripe on a black car. They were all in their corresponding A-team outfits and ready to go!

"hey, Where's Face (Wrath)?" asked Murdoch (Ed).

"I don't know! But we can't save the world without him! So I shall do all I can with my beautiful artistic muscles and strength to find him!" **(Do I even have to say who said this…)**

Meanwhile, Wrath/Face was shooting at Envy with a truth ray. "I THINK PURPLE MONKEY IN TUTUS ARE HOT!" Screamed Envy.

"HAHAHAHA! Take that, bastard! You are under my control now!" _Wait, wasn't there someplace I had to be today?_

So with that thought, he left to find the other members of the A-team leaving envy crying in a ditch because his innermost secret had been let out to the world. But this story isn't about him, now is it?

-------------------why won't it show up?-------------

So they all piled into the car and got ready to go rescue…people…yeah…people…

"Yeah!"-Roy/Hannibal

"grrrr!"-Armstrong/Baracus

"All right"-Wrath/Face

"Yeah!...Let's do it!"-Edward/Murdoch

Somewhere in town…

"Oh fluffy! Fluffy, come down!" whined a little girl whose cat was stuck in a tree. "What're we gonna do?"

Just then the A-Team Van drove up the sidewalk! WOOOO!

"Don't you worry, sad little girl! The A-Team will get your beloved kitty down from the evil demon tree! **(okay so the evil tree part I made up. I also made up the envy truth thing.)**

"Ready boys?!" said Roy/Hannibal

They all took out machine guns and proceeded to shoot the tree until it fell onto the house missing Envy by centimeters.

"Ahahahhaha! You missed m-I SLEEP IN PINK PRINCESS FOOTSY PAJAMAS!" he said yelling the last part of the sentence. Je looked to see Wrath/Face standing there with the evil truth ray. "DAMN!" He cursed before running off to god knows where.

Well, back to the guys in the yard…

"No need to thank us. It's what we do." Said Ed/Murdoch

"Who the hell are you guys?!" Said the sad little girl's father.

They were all walking back to the van when Roy/Hannibal said "We're the A-Team!"

Cue the heroic music –

They all struck dumb poses and punched their fists into the air and did a weird little dance.

Cue end of annoying hero music –

"Get off my property!" yelled the dad who was pretty annoyed by now since his house was smashed to smithereens by 4 morons with machine guns.

"yeah, that's probably a good idea." Said Armstrong/Baracus **(Hannibal was supposed to say that but Baracus hasn't had any lines yet.)**

--------------I give up on this line.---------------

At Central Park, some construction guys were minding their own business in clearing the trees to build something there. Let's go with they were building an…Anime museum…yeah that'll work.

Cue the distracting hero music…sigh –

The van speeded to a halt in the middle of the park and the A-Team came out with their machine guns.

End the music here.-

But just then, Beetle Girl Armony from the game came running to the park. "Ed! Ed I wanted to tell you someth…" She was cut off by a shuriken whizzing past her head.

"Great shot, Fred! You cut her ear off! Let's get her! Yaaaa!" Said the same girl from chapter 7 with her legion of zombie ninjas.

"Wait up, Peggy!" Shouted another girl who was running after Armony too, only she held a freshly sharpened chainsaw.

_I'm having a serious DejaVu moment here…_ Thought both Ed and Roy at the same time. **(Fred is Peggy's right hand zombie ninja.)**

"What are you guys doing?! This is a construction site!" said one of the workers.

"No it's not! It's Central park and we're here to stop you from destroying it!" Said Roy/Hannibal.

They readied their guns.

"Whoah, whoah, what are you gonna do? Kill us?" said the worker.

"huh, what? Oh no we wouldn't do that we'd probably just you know shoot the ground all aaround you to make you scared and you'll jump into you truck, run off, hit something aand do a wicked flip through the air." Said Ed/Murdoch.

"Well, that'll surely kill us."

"no, No you Guys will just roll out of the vehicle and dust yourselves off. Then lumber back to your hideout, defeated."

'Listen buddy, I had my cousin get in a fender bender a 5 mph, messed his neck up, he's got partial numbness, he's just not the same guy anymore."

"Was he wearing his seat belt?" Asked Armstrong/Baracus.

"Thank god." Said the worker.

"Well, I know this guy who took his car in for an oil change, and then later he got in a wreck and the airbag didn't deploy. Turns out they stole it. Sold it for spare parts." Said Roy/Hannibal.

"No way!" said the worker.

"It happens. Chop shops. Makes it harder to find stolen parts." Said Ed/Murdoch

"Sheesh. That is awful. Well you guys got a lot of work to do we should probably get outta your hair. Take it easy." Said Roy/Hannibal.

Everyone said some form of goodbye.

"Don't forget to put your tool away!" said Wrath/Face.

Later…

The phone rang in Mustang's office. It was a cry for help! So he called up the A-Team and they all got into their costumes. Then Roy/Hannibal said, "This looks like a job for…The A-Team!"

He then shot a hole in the roof and Noah who was in the floor above fell through the hole. Wrath/Face 'accidentally' shot her with his machine gun.

- cue the music -

**------------not gonna say a thing about the line…-----------**

**Ok. There was the chapter. As promised here are the results of the riddle of the week:**

**Thanks to Kyorma and P. McTully who were the only ones who took a guess.**

**Congratulations to P. McTully who actually got it right! She can now request a person that she would like to make an appearance in the next chapter of the story! She can also request what will go on in the next chapter. Whee! **

**Here's the answer:**

**He said, "You'll sentence me to six years in prison." If it was true, then the judge would have to make it false by sentencing him to four years. If it was false, then he would have to give him six years, which would make it true. Rather than contradict his own word, the judge set the man free.**

**This was the original question:**

**A man was to be sentenced, and the judge told him, "You may make a statement. If it is true, I'll sentence you to four years in prison. If it is false, I'll sentence you to six years in prison." After the man made his statement, the judge decided to let him go free. What did the man say?**

The new riddle will be posted in my profile shortly.


	9. Ding! Fries are done!

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**Ding! Fries Are Done!  
**

**Ok, I know it's not Saturday so I'm not gonna post the riddle of the week thing. I just wanted to post this chapter for fun. This chapter is dedicated to all the wonderful people who added this story to their alert or favs list or those who submitted a review. I love you all. Hands everyone a giant cookie. Please go to my profile to view the riddle of the week. PM mw with your guess and I'll post the answer on Saturday's update of the story. REVIEW OR YOU DON'T GET A COOKIE.**

**Disclaimer: FMA ©Hiromu Arakawa; Family Guy ©The people who own Family Guy (that is not me)**

**-------------line-----------**

It was snowing in Central and most people were inside enjoying warm drinks and sitting by the fire. But not Ling, Roy, Ed, and other people who were not warm and cozy. They had to work. Well, Ling was just there to annoy Ed. And everyone else.

"How are we going to get rid of him?" Asked Ed who was hiding in the closet with Roy and all of his other subordinates. Except for Riza because she wasn't going to hide in a closet with a bunch of retards.

The reason they were hiding was because Ling and Hughes were out there.

"I don't know, Ed I'm trying to think but it's hard because Falman's foot is digging into my ribs!" Replied Roy.

"Ohhhhhhh, guys? Where are you? I want to show you a picture of my darling Elicia in her cowgirl outfit! She looks like a precious Angel!" Came a creepy, happy voice.

"Oh no! He's found us! Quick! Nobody breathe or move!" So with that, they all held their breath until Hughes would pass. But luck was never on their side.

Hughes opened the door to the closet and all of the men came tumbling out. "There you guys are! Ed, someone wants to see you!"

And then Ling popped out from behind Hughes.

"Hiya bestest friend!" **(Sorry, Peggy. I really wanted him to call him that!)**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" screamed Ed. He then proceeded to dash down the hallway but was stopped by Al.

"oh. Hi Brother."

"Not now, Al I'm running away!"

"but brother, I can help you with your problem!"

"You can make Ling go away?"

"Yep. With this." He held up a…thing….called "The Automatic Send Someone To Another World Machine."

"Al…where in the world did you get that?"

"eBay"

"Awesome! Thanks, Al!" Ed ran back up the hallway in time to see Hughes shoving pictures in everyone's faces and Ling Running around yelling "WHERE DID YOU GO, BESTEST FRIEND?! Oh there you are!"

But Ed had pointed the THASSTAWM at him and there was a flash of red light.

The next thing Ling knew he was working at Burger King.

_Hmm, I feel like singing! _He thought. So he started singing.

"Ding, fries are done! Ding, fries are done! Ding, fries are done! Ding, fries are done! I gotta run, I gotta run, I gotta run, I gotta run! I work at Burger King making Flameboy whoppers, wearing paper hats, would you like an apple pie with that? Would you like an apple pie with that? Ding, fries are done! Ding, fries are done! Ding, fries are done! Ding, fries are done! I gotta run, I gotta run, I gotta run, I gotta run! Don't touch the fries in hot fat; it really hurts bad and so do skin grafts. Would you like an apple pie with that? Would you like an apple pie with that? Wait for the bell, can't hear the bell, where is the bell? Wait for the bell, Ding fries areeee dooooooooone!"

Ling enjoyed the rest of his life working at burger king. **(ps. The song above should be sung to the Christmas carol called "The Carol of The Bells.")**

As for Hughes, well, let's just say he made good friends with piranhas. And everyone lived happily ever after.

**---------line--------**

**Well, yeah. Please review! I don't know what you people have against reviewing.**

**Hope you liked this chapter. Huzzah.**


	10. Basketball and Ed takes Steroids

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**Basketball and Ed Takes Steroids  
**

**This is a parody based on what happened in P.E. one day. I have a huge fear of basketballs. I'm fine with soccer balls, volleyballs, footballs, and any other kind of ball. But not basketballs. I'm dead afraid of basketballs. This is me around basketballs: ball comes at Marilyn. Marilyn screams and ducks. Jerkhead teammates yell at Marilyn. Marilyn calls them loser bastards. Evil P.E. coach yells at Marilyn and makes her run laps. P.E. is not fun. Grr. **

**Btw, I haven't received any guesses on this week's riddle. Go to my profile to view it and then PM me to submit your guess. Come on, people. Take a shot! This week's is easy. **

**IF YOU DON'T REVIEW OR TAKE A GUESS IT MEANS YOU DON'T READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTES!!!! Please review. **

**Here is the key:**

**Feury: Me**

**Havoc: Sarah**

**Falman: Shelby**

**And the other people who no one cares about are just there. **

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/**

"Noooooo! I don't wanna!" Shouted a very distressed Kain Feury.

"Yes, Feury you have to! Mustang gave us the day off! Let's spend it shooting some hoops!" Said Falman.** (Everything is pretty much word for word except for what Falman said cuz we weren't given the day off. We were in stinkin' gym class. XP)**

"You guys can go! I'll keep score!" Shouted Feury who was grabbing onto one of the gym lockers, but was being pulled off of it by Havoc.

"Feury, come on! We don't Have all day!"

"Yes we do! Why can't I do something else? Huh? Huh? I want my mommmmyyyyyyy!" shouted Feury now being dragged into the gym.

Once they were all in their teams, Falman was still trying to man-handle Feury, who was now in the fetal position sucking his thumb and writing out his will in his head. **(I must say, today was a very embarrassing class…)**

"come on, Feury! It'll be fun!" said Falman.

"FUN?! Basketball and fun should not be used in the same sentence unless the words in-between are 'is not'!" wailed Feury who was now on the court and had no choice but to play the hellish game where people seem like they're **_TRYING_** to wham you in the head with an oversized orange ball of evil. **(I'm not trying to offend anyone who plays and enjoys basketball.) **

"Ok, let's start!" shouted one of the people on the team.

"Why me?" Feury whined.

So, on the game went.

"Hey, Feury, when I get up there, I'll pass you the ball, okay? Try to catch it. I won't heave it at you. I'll just toss it." Said Havoc who had scored most of the points for their team. **(Sarah is a pro at basketball)**

"Um, o-okay…" Said Feury slightly unsure of whether he wanted the ball or not. So he stood there thinking about it and he didn't hear Havoc shout, "Feury, catch!"

Feury looked to the side and havoc was getting ready to throw the ball. When her threw it, Feury just screamed like a 4 year old and ducked covering his head.

Meanwhile as the other people yelled at poor Feury, Breda was watching the game through the window.

"Man, this is funnier than the time Mustang gave Edward steroids."

_Flashback:_

"_You wanted to see me, Mustang?" asked Edward Elric, walking into Roy's office. _

"_Yes, Edward. I've figured out a way to finally get you taller!" _

"_WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! _

"_It means exactly what I said. I know how to make you taller."_

_Ed pondered this for a second. He did want to get taller, but he didn't really trust Roy in these situations._

"_Okay, fine. I'll bite, But if one thing goes wrong…"_

"_Calm down Ed. It's flawless."_

"_Okay, so what is it?"_

"_Steroids."_

"_Steroids?"_

"_Yep."_

"_All right. Lemme have it! Yes! I'm going to be tall!"_

_A few steroid dosages later…_

"_ROY! YOU BASTARD!" shouted a very unhappy Edward._

"_Um, oops. Sorry, bout that Ed!"_

_Ed had now grown to be taller, yes, but had grown muscled about 5 times as big as Major Armstrong's. So, after the major bounded in saying "hello, my long lost brother!" not knowing that it was Ed, Roy put him on a podium outside so that all the little children would learn the dangers of steroids. Ed still stands there today, collecting dust and bird poop._

_End flashback._

So the rest of the day passed. Feury came out alive with his dignity gone down the drain and several bruises on his head. Yes, I'd say the day went by pretty well.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

**DADADA. Yeah, DADADA is a line from a funny video I saw on youtube. To view it please go to youtube(dot)com and type in "2 Chinese Boys DADADA. It's really funny.**

**And I will stop nagging you guys to review when you start reviewing. **

**HUZZAH! Look for the answer to the Riddle of the week in the chapter that I post on Saturday. I plan on having this story go to at least 50 chapters so if you have any ideas where I can get some source material let me know.**


	11. I'm A Tumor!

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**I'm a Tumor  
**

**Yeeeeah, 'tis another Family guy. Sorry for the shortness. People have said they read this fic. If you can read it, then review it. I bought a weasel ball today but none of you care. I also have a rubber chicken. YAAAAAY RUBBER CHICKENS!**

**DISCLAIMER: I can only dream…**

**LIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNEEEEEEE**

A question arose in the office of Roy Mustang. A question that he did not hear because he was napping when he should have been doing his paperwork. But the question was not directed at him. The question was directed at Riza.

"Lieutenant, how can you put up with the Colonel like this all the time?" Asked Alphonse.

"Well, Alphonse, when you've been working around someone for so long, you just get used to it." Replied the calm Lieutenant.

"There aren't any side effects?"

"None that I know of. I mean, come on. What could go wrong?"

But little did they know, inside Riza's brain there was a little lump with Mustang's face that sang: "I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor. I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor. I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor. Oh oh oh, I'm a tumor!"

**LIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEEEE**

**Once again, sorry for the short chapter. I didn't get any guesses for this week's riddle, so I will not post the answer. I will post the new riddle today, but if there aren't at least 2 guesses by next Saturday, I will discontinue riddle of the week. To take a guess, just go to my profile and PM me with your guess. Easy. **

**Now I would like to take the time to give a shout-out to everyone who has reviewed this story. **

**xX-Chaotic-Order-Xx**

**Shoushin**

**Cort-chan**

**Kyasarin-Maarukeehii1**

**Roy-Fan-33**

**P.McTully! Hiiii Peggy!**

**Kyorma**

**ITookThisName**

**Michelle 1203**

**Kingdom.Tourniquet.13**

**Ricky**

**Jin Takuya**

**h.l.stealth**

**Rissa Havoc**

**Yorick-chan**

**If I misspelled your name or left you out, please tell me and I will change this chapter. I will also give all of you NICE people who review another shout out next chapter.**

**AnimeAddict333 over and out.**


	12. DA DA DA!

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**DA DA DA!  
**

**Here I Am!!! Yes you are overjoyed to see me again! I will not be doing disclaimers anymore because it is clear that I own nothing except a rubber chicken and chainsaw. Yes, you all are probably not wondering about what happened to cat came back part 2. Well, I have decided that I will only do a part 2 if you guys want me to. If you want me to continue with a part 2, then say so in a review. If I get 5 reviews saying that you want it to be continued, then I will add the part 2. Or if not, just review anyway. PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU TO REVEW! If I don't get 5 reviews for this chapter, then I will close off the whole story and work on the others that I have been blowing off to write this one. **

**About the chapter: Reg. print is Ed singing and italics is Al. I'm doing this because I don't want to do the whole "he said this, she said that." Thing. **

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

It was a bright and sunny day for Wrath who was doing whatever he does when Dante isn't forcing him to do something for her. But this story isn't about that. No, it's not. Deal with it. This story is about Ed and Al annoying Roy with German singing. Yes, it is. Deal with it.

00000oo00oo0oo0o0o0o

"Ah, finally! I'm done! I would never be outsmarted by paperwork or my name isn't Roy Mustang!" Exclaimed said person striking a superman pose on his desk.

"Sir, the Elrics are here." Said Riza, coming into the office. Roy's facer immediately fell and he plopped into his swivel chair. **(YAAAY! Swivel chair!) **

"Fine, let them in."

Ed and Al Elric stepped through the doorway and in Ed's case, Grinning like a chimpanzee on crack and doing the backstroke at the same time. **(real descriptive aren't I? - -; ) **

"Ok, boys, what do you need?" Asked Roy, completely monotone.

"Well, Brother and I have a song for you." Replied Al.

"Oh No! Not again! The last time Ed sang a song, he ate my watch and completely ruined my sofa! And when am I getting my watch back, Ed?" Asked Roy.

"Ummm, you might not want it back, Mustang. After where it's been y'know…" Came the wittle itty bitty shrimp's reply. **(Did I just type "Wittle"??) **

Meanwhile, while Ed was attacking the authoress…

"So, Alphonse, what is it you wanted to sing for us?" Asked Riza, still monotone.

"Well, it's a song in German and we thought Roy might like to hear it! But you might want to leave, Lieutenant. It might get ugly."

"Will do."

After Hawkeye left and Ed had resumed from attacking the poor authoress…

"Ok, let me here it. Just get it over with." Said Roy, dreading what was about to happen.

"Ok, Al, let's do this!"-E

"Right!"-A

"save me…"-R **(ahaha! Put all of their first initials together and it spells ear!)**

_Cue bad accordion and tuba music…_

"Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh!" Began Ed as they stood up and then went back down repeatedly while opening and closing their mouths like fish.

"_ich libe sie nicht, du libe micht nicht!_

Uh huh, uh huh, hu huh!" "Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh!" "Ich libe sie nicht, du libe micht nicht!" At this, they started moving from side to side like old drunk people. "Ich libe sie nicht, du libe micht nicht!"

"_ich libe sie nicht, du libe micht nicht!" _Now, they were circling around each other. _"Uh, huh!"_

"Ich libe sie nicht, du libe micht nicht! Uh huh! Ich libe sie nicht, du libe micht nicht! Uh huh! Ich libe sie nicht, du libe micht nicht! Uh huh!" Al was now doing some sort of form of "The Worm" only he was standing up.

…

….

…..

……

…….

………………

"DA DA DA!!!"

Shouted Ed as he bounced up and down with sunglasses and a headband on. Al was doing a swimming move in the background.

"DA DA DA!!!"

"DA DA DA!!!"

"DA DA DA!!!"

Al was now shuffling sideways across the room.

"Ich libe sie nicht, du libe micht nicht!"

"DA DA DA!!!"

"DA DA DA!!! Ich libe sie nicht, du libe micht nicht!"

"_DA DA DA!!!" _Yelled Al as he now shuffled across the floor but had his back to Roy but his head was upside-down. **(kinda hard to explain. You gotta watch the vid.) **

"I don't love you, you don't love me!" said Ed he still had the sunglasses and headband on.

"DA DA DA!!! Ich libe sie nicht, du libe micht nicht!" As Ed kept singing, Al was doing…well I don't even know the right words…

"DA DA DA!!!"

"DA DA DA!!! Ich libe sie nicht, du libe micht nicht!" Now Ed was wearing an orange-red hat and Al was finised doing…that.

"DA DA DA!!! Ich libe sie nicht, du libe micht nicht! DA DA DA! O neut sa meinklicht fiertsig! **(I have no effing clue if I spelled that correctly. I just spelled what I heard. But I'm pretty sure the other German words are spelled correctly…) **

As they finished the song, Mustang was just sitting in his swivel chair. It's safe to say that his face looked pretty much like this 0o only his eye was twitching and his face would have made the perfect Kodak moment…

But that was also the day Roy completely torched youtube and the Elrics. But he kinda regretted torching Ed because Ed still had his watch in his stomach. And Lieutenant Hawkeye just left the country. She had been watching through a hole in the wall. Yeah.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

**DA DA DA! I stand by my word that If I don't get 5 reviews on this chapter, then I am closing the story off. Forever. TO VIEW THIS VIDEO, GO TO www(dot)youtube(dot)com and search "2 Chinese Boys DADADA"**

**Go to my profile to view the riddle of the week and so on.**

**AnimeAddict333 over and out. ::exits in dramatic puff of smoke:: **


	13. Men In Tights

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**Men In Tights  
**

**Yes, I know I said I would do the cat came back part 2, and I will I promise! But I reaaaaaalllly had the urge to do this. It made me laugh so hard! Info on where to see this video is at the bottom, standard disclaimers apply, and no, I'm not on crack. No matter what the doctors say. Same deal as last chapter, if I don't get 5 reviews in about…oh…5 days, then I'm stopping the story. But I'll be more than happy to get more than 5 reviews! Duh. I'M BEGGING FOR REVIEWS, PLEASE! I WILL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT FOR A REVIEW! ANYTHING! Exceptforyaoiandyuriandanythingelsethatgoesagainstmypreferences. Well, off we goooooo!!!!!! **

**It USED to show up! TT**

It was everyone's worst nightmare. It was scarier than world war II. It was more frightening than the yellow fever epidemic of 1793. No, this ranked at the top for the most scariest thing in the world. It was:

_**ADAM SANDLER!!**_

Nah, Just kidding about Adam Sandler. The actual most frightening thing that all those sentences up there referred to was:

THE A-TEAM WAS BACK! But no, they weren't called the A-Team anymore. Oh no. That was in chapter 8. This is chapter 13.

Now they called themselves the Men In Tights!

"WHAT?! 'Men In tights?!' Where does it say that?!" asked Ed/Murdoch

"Right up there." Said Wrath/Face pointing above their heads to where word after word appeared forcing them to do everything the strange and mysterious typist told them to.

"Oh."

So, they abandoned their A-Team alias and became the Men In Tights. Mostly because Roy/Hannibal thought that robbing people was the right thing to do.

"Help me! Help me!" came the distressed cry of a little girl stuck in a…um…a…Vending Machine! Yeah, let's go with that.

"Hark! Is that a cry I hear? Well, I with all my muscles and integrity and little pink sparkles shall help save the poor maiden!" bellowed Armstrong/Baracus. And so the A-Team was off.

But on the way to the vending machine, the team was stopped by Envy. Wrath had lost his truth ray so he just shot Envy with Winry's cat launcher. And Envy went flying into a cardboard box and destroyed everything inside it. He picked up the box and read the label. "Weapons for all the ninja's needs!" He then looked inside the box at the ruined ninja weapons. But he failed to notice the OTHER label on the box that read "To: Fred"

But because what happens next is waaaaaay to violent, the author has decided to let you view this instead:

"Why hello, Mr. Snookums!"

"Good day, Mr. Poogle-woogle!"

"I loooove you, Mr. Snookums!"

"I love you too, Mr. Poogle-woogle!"

Ok, while the author is retching, let's get back to the Men In Tights.

"Help Me! Help Me!" came the little girl's voice from inside the vending machine.

"Don't worry little girl! We've come to rescue you!" Cried Ed. Roy, and Armstrong in unison. Wrath only wondered why he was chosen to work with these idiots.

"Wh-who are you?" came her chocked words.

"Who are we?" Said Roy/Hannibal.

Cues odd patriot music from nowhere

"We're men, we're men in tights. We roam around the forest looking for fights.

We're men. We're men in tights. We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!

We may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!

We're men. We're men in tights, always on guard defending the people's rights."

_A/N: This next part is sung to the tune of "can can, can you do the can can?" or whatever it's called._

"Laaaaaa! La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la laaa laa laa laa laa! Laaaaa! La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la!"

_A/N: this next part is sung regular…well as regaular as it gets --;_

"We're men, MANLY men, we're men in tights. Yeah!

We roam around the forest looking for fights!

We're men, we're men in tights. We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!

We may look like pansies, but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights!

We're men, we're men in tights (TIGHT tights),

Always on guard defending the people's rights!

When you're in a fix just call for the men in tights!

We're butch."

And when they ended their song they were in very odd poses except for wrath who was just standing there. He had sung too, but he refused to strike a pose at the end.

"That is who we are little girl!...Huh? little girl?" Said Ed/Murdoch as he looked around.

Turns out, while they were singing their song, the little girl had a cell phone and called the fire department to get her out.

**Why won't it show up?_ WHY????_**

**Yeah, as I said before I'm not on crack. No matter what the doctors say. Ha. To view this video go to www(dot)youtube(dot)com and search for "FMA men in tights".**

**A HUGE thank you to everyone who reviewed:**

**He-Didn't-Betray-Us**

**xX-Chaotic-Order-Xx**

**Roy-Fan-33**

**Kyorma**

**Shoushin**

**Cort-chan**

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**ITookThisName**

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**Kingdom.Tourniquet.13**

**Ricky**

**Jin Takuya**

**h.l.stealth**

**Rissa Havoc**

**Yorick-chan**

**And a HUUUUUUUGEEEE thank you shout out to P.McTully who has been very nice to me and has reviewed every chapter and put up with me this far. And thank you to her right hand ninja Fred because he got to maul Envy for ruining his weapons. **

**AnimeAddict333, until next chapter.**

**Push this button**

**Push this button**

**Push this button**

**I will keep bugging you until you push this button**

**PUSH THE DAMN BUTTON!**

**This one right down here.**

_**NOW!!!!!!!!**_


	14. FMA on CRACK!

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**FMA On CRACK!  
**

**Ok, I jus got Microsoft word on my laptop so I am celebrating by updating twice in one day. Go me. This chapter is a collection of little parodies. Woot. No point at all.**

**But please still review my last chapter. I'm on my knees and pleading for reviews.**

**000000oooo00oo0o0o00000oo**

Riza was just done shopping. On her way home she felt like singing. So she walked over to a lamp post and started singing.

"I need a miracle, I wanna be your girl! Give me a chance to see, that you were made for me! I need a miracle, please let me be your girl, One day you'll seeeee what can happen to me!"

00000o0o0ooooo00o0o000oo0o

Roy was doing the Macarena but then zeppelins started attacking. So he said: "Hey! I am a cop! And you will respect ma authori-tay!"

0000oo0o0o0o0o0oooooooo0o0o0oo

Let's go back to the day Ed and Al faced off Father cornello aka His Holiness. Or As I like to call him, "His Fatness."

And you all know the part where he sicked the chimera thing on Ed, right? Well, instead of standing there like a moron, he was actually singing. We just couldn't hear him because they censored out his voice 'cuz it sounded so bad. But here's what he REALLY sang:

"F is for fire that burns down the whole town!

U is for uranium…BOMBS!

N is for no survivoooooooooors! When you.." but the rest of his sentence was cut off because the huge freaky bird thing ate his brains out because his singing was scaring little children.

0o0o0o0oooooo00o0o000000oo0o0o0o

Al had found a kitten. But surprisingly he hated it.

"meow"

"No kitty, this is my pot pie!"

"meow"

"No kitty, you bad kit.."

"Meow!"

"No kitty, THIS IS MY POT PIE!!!!"

"Mom! Kitty's being a d&# !"

0o0o0ooooo00000ooo00o0o00o0o0oo000ooo00oo00

**(caution this next one uses the f word a lot… Oh and I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST JEWS. I know this has a Jew joke in it but it was in the video. My mom is Jewish, so I am absolutely NOT insulting Jews." **

Hughes was teaching a classroom full of children. Well, ok he was teaching the FMA cast. You know, like school? I dunno just go along with it!!!

"Ok, class let's do some math problems, what is 5 times two?" asked Hughes.

"Yes, Rose?" said Hughes

"12?" said Rose.

"Ok, let's try to get an answer from someone who isn't a total retard." Said Hughes.

"I know the answer Mr. Hughes." Said Mustang.

"meme me me mmeee meem e me!" Said Ed in a mocking tone.

"Shut up shrimp boy!"

"Hey! Don't call me shrimp you fucking Jew!"

"Edward, did you just say the 'F' word?" asked Mr. Hughes in an 'I'm shocked' tone.

"Jew?" said Ed.

"No, he's talking about fuck. You can't say fuck in school you fucking fatass!" replied Roy.

"Roy!"

"Why the fuck not?"

"Edward!"

"Dude, you just said fuck again!"

"Jean!"

"Fuck."

"KAIN!"

"What's the big deal, it doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck, fuckitty, fuck fuck fuck." Said Ed.

"How would you like to go see the school counselor?!" said Hughes.

"How would you like to suck my balls?"

The class: "Le gasp!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

"Oh, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I meant to say was," Ed holds up a huge megaphone. "How would you like to suck my balls? Mr. Hughes."

0-o pretty much describes Hughes' face.

"Holy shit, dude." Said Havoc.

0ooo00o0ooo0000000o00o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**Yeah, again, no Idea what spawned this. I was just looking at a bunch of FMA crack videos. Audio clips from: some random song by some random singer; Spongebob Squarepants; and South park.**

**I WILL KEEP BUGGING YOU UNTIL I GET PLENTY REVIEWS**

**PRESS THIS PRETTY PURPLE BUTTON AND TYPE THE WORDS**

**NOW!!!!!!**

**YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!**

**AnimeAddict333 Over and out…for now.**


	15. Another MrHughes chapter

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**Another Mr. Hughes Chapter  
**

**Yes, I have ADD.**

**0o0oooo00o000o0o0oo00o00o**

It was another fine day in June…What it's March? Oh, ok. Lemme start over.

It was another fine day in March, 1937 when…It's not 1937? Oi. Then what year is it? 2007? Fine. Be like that.

It was another fine day in March of 2007 when…what does it have to do with the story? It doesn't. I have ADD. Didn't you read the author's note? Moron.

0o00o0o-0o00o00oo0o00o0o0o00o00o0o00o0o00o0o00

"Ok, so who can tell me who wrote the Declaration of Independence?" asked Mr. Hughes. "I know! How about the new student, Noa."

"NOA!!!" bellowed Noa.

"No, it wasn't you Noa, try again."

"HYAAAAA!!!"

"Noa, did you not do your homework?!"

"Deh…NOAAAAA!"

"Uh, Mr. Hughes, haven't you figured it out? Noa's retarded." Said Havoc.

"Don't call people names, Jean." Said Hughes.

"But she is.."

"Now, Noa, you need to work on your study skills!"

"ahhhhh, duahhhh!"

"ARE YOU MOCKING ME?! BECAUSE IF YOU ARE, I HAVE NO PROBLEM SENDING YOUR BUTT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE!"

"Oh, man. You know Mr. Hughes is mad when he's talking in all caps." Said Ed.

"Duh, libelaw libelaw, NOA!!!!" Said Noa.

"THAT DOES IT!"

And what Mr. Hughes did next was too violent for some of the younger readers. Wait a minute! This fic is rated T. Young readers shouldn't be reading this. Your mommies will sue Marilyn-sama. If you tattle on me, I'll have Shou Tucker visit you in your sleep. WHAT NOW?!

0o0o0oo0o00o0o0o0o0oo00o0o00

Meanwhile, Rose was strolling down the street looking for Ed. What kinds of evil things she wanted to do to him, I don't know. But I'm sure they were bad. But she tripped over a hedgehog. Did you know that hedgehogs are mammals? Sorry, ADD.

Anyways, someone came and helped her up. It was Winry. This is fun.

"Oh, thanks Winry. I'm looking for Ed. Can you tell me where he is?"

"Sure." Said Winry. "Just follow those little chainsaw bits. They will lead you right to him."

"Thanks, Win! You're were a huge help!" Rose said as she took off down the street following the chainsaw pieces. But because she was a stupid bitch with an IQ of -40, she didn't find that odd.

But when she got there, she was standing in front of an old shack. She found this odd, but because she had an IQ of -50, she went inside anyways. But what she saw was not Ed. She saw 3 people and a zombie ninja. One of the people was sharpening a chainsaw that had the letters P-L-U-E etched into the blade, the 2nd person was providing the zombie with new weapons after he had mauled Envy for destroying the last ones. From what Rose could tell, this 2nd person's name was "Mistress." The third was a figure holding a pink sword. Apparently, the author noted her as "THE JADE." And there was also a corpse lying on the ground that looked like a palm tree.

All of them turned to look at her.

What happened next is not fir for a T rated fic, so enjoy this segment instead.

"Let's go for a walk, Mr. Snookums!"

"Yes, let's Mr. Poogle-Woogle!"

"I wuv you Mr. Snookums!"

"I wuv you too, Mr. Poogle-Woogle!"

This time the author had a barf bag and didn't have to go all the way to the bathroom.

0oo0o0ooo0o0oo0o0o0o0o0ooo00o

**Yes, this is Ms. ADD, Please hold.**

**I would like to give a HUGE shout out to the 49th, 50th, and 51st reviewers. **

**#49: P.MCTULLY!!! (WOOT! She has been a faithful reviewer since chapter…2? I think)**

**#50 and 51: KYORMA!!! ( huge round of applause!! Reviewer number 50! Why am I the only one clapping? And also reviewer #51!) **

**And yeah I'm dreaming, but extra special shout outs will go to reviewers 99, 100, and 101. But I am dreaming, so ya. But I really hoe there will be a reviewer #100!**

**PRESS THE DAMN BUTTON!!!**

**YOU KNOW YOUU WANT TO!**

**DO IT NOOOOOOWWWW!**


	16. Can't Touch Roy

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**Can't Touch Roy  
**

**Marilyn-sama is being an idiot. She is pulling an all-nighter for no reason and she has school tomorrow. It is 2:18 AM and she wanted to update something so that she wouldn't sleep. And she has ADD. But that has nothing to do with what she is saying. On with the chapter. **

**-yawns-**

**THISISNOTHEALTHYBUTWHOTHEHECKCARES?**

Roy had always wanted to become fuehrer. Yes, he did. Most of all, he wanted the miniskirt rule to be passed. And yeah right was Bradley gonna make that a law.

One day, he was sitting in his office thinking about all this stuff that I just typed but am too lazy to type again yet here I am typing all of this crap. 'I really want to be Fuhrer. AND I SHALL MAKE A SONG ABOUT IT!' and of course he was talking in all caps, because let's face it. That's awesome.

So he went into the street to find a good place to sing. –yawns again-

'Ah! Here we go! The perfect singing spot!' he thought as he came across a plaza. –yawns-

He went up to a…uh…baby's carriage and stole the poor baby's rattle. "Hey, Mustang! You can't do that! You're gonna end up in jail. And not the good jail like on cinemax. The man jail." Said Havoc.

"Go give that back, Roy! You uh, don't wanna break the law." Said Falman. Don't ask me how they appeared outta nowhere. I don't know.

"I can do whatever I want. Watch this!" Said Roy as he unwisely ignored the sign that said "keep off the grass!" and he stepped on the grass. –Yawns for the billionth time-  
"Hey, that's against the law! You're coming with me!" said some random cop that was standing nearby.

"uh, uh, uh! Can't touch me!" yelled Roy. Now I will play the annoying music…stuff.

Dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun! "Can't touch me!" Dun dun dun dun dun dun. "Ju-ju-just like the bad guy, from lethal weapons II, I've got diplomatic immunity, so Hammer you can't sue!" Sang Roy as he pointed to some other random guy.

"I can write graffiti," he just wrote on the walls 'Royland 4 ever' "even jaywalk in the street! Can riot, loot, not give a whoot, and touch your sister's tit! Can't touch me!" he now yelled as he did everything he just sang.

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun! "Can't touch me!"

"What in god's name is he doing?" asked Fuhrer Bradley who had popped out of nowhere. "Can't touch me!" "I believe it's called THE WORM." Replied Feury as Roy was in fact breakdancing and doing the worm.

"STOP! Mustang time! I'm a big shot, there's no doubt, light a fire and pee it out." At this point the disturbed mothers were shielding the eyes of the little ones. "Don't like it? Kiss my rump. Just for a minute, let's all do the bump!"

Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun. "Can't touch me!" Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun.

"Yeah, do the Roy Mustang bump! Can't touch me!" Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun.

"I'm presidential Roy, Interns think I'm hot. Don't care if you're handicapped I'll still park in your spot! I've been around the world, from Hartvard to Back Bay! I'm Mustang, superior Mustang, let's see Bradley rap this way! Cant touch me!" Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun.

"Except for you." He said to Riza. "You can touch me."

But over the next few hours Roy was being used for target practice and because we aren't approved to describe this violence to you, we give you this instead. **(Yep, here they are. –yawn-)**

"Let's get some num-nums, Mr. Snookums!

"Yes, let's! Mr. Poogle-Woogle!"

"I wuv you, Mr. Snookums!"

"No, I wuv YOU Mr. Poogle-Woogle!"

ITSAYSTOGET8HRSOFSLEEPWHICHIWILLUNWISELYIGNORE

**Ok, who wants Mr. Poogle-Woogle and Mr. Snookums to die? If they die, then I will have to find alternate means of censorship. If you want them to stay or go, although if they stay they will not be appearing in every chapter for everyone's sanity. Then tell me so in a review. REVIEW NOW! If u don't review then u are a stupid gay wad with no life. It is now 2:52 AM. Wow time flies when you write FanFiction…**


	17. We're All Dudes

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS: **

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**We're All Dudes  
**

**Ok, I just posted a brand new story. It was sad and stuff so I wanted to put up this chapter to make people happy. The other story is an EdxWinry so If you like that pairing, go read. Or don't. I think it's bad.**

**Roy: DUH! It is! It was so terrible I cried!**

**Me: are you sure it was the terribleness that made u cry? **

**Roy:…damn she catches on fast…**

**Me: mmm-hmm.**

**AND ON WE GO!**

**DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDEEEEEEEE!**

_It's time to put hard times behind_

_Get all the bad things off your mind_

_He's feeling good_

_she's feeling good_

_we're feeling good, yeah_

All hell broke loose the day President Bradley declared all military officers to take a vacation. Oh, yes it did. Ohh, a penny…sorry. I have to get new ADD medication.

So Roy ventured out to find some people that he would drag along with him an his vacation against their wills. Go Roy!

"Hi dudes!" bellowed Roy as he stepped into the plane. Pretty much the entire cast of FMA was on the plane except for Dante and Adam Sandler because they died in the Seven Deadly Sins chapter.

Anyways, everyone was on the plane looking utterly displeased at the situation at hand. Roy had forced them all to come on this stupid vacation to an unnamed Island that Roy had only heard about because the authoress said so.

"Uhg, Mustang do you have to say that?" asked that little girl from episode…10…I think…the little girl with the basket of lemons…you know the episode with Russel and Fletcher.

"Yes, I have to say that , dude."

"I'm a girl!"

"So? You are still a dude."

"How"

"I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude." Cornello started singing. But then Al threw him off the plane because his hideous voice was scaring the little children. And he fell a long way.

"it's going to be a long vacation…" Riza mumbled to herself.

_Just hanging out_

_just having fun_

_we're number one_

_just hanging out_

_just having fun_

_I'm a dude_

_he's a dude_

_she's a dude_

_we're all dudes, hey_

_I'm a dude_

_he's a dude_

_she's a dude_

_we're all dudes, hey_!

"What the hell is this?" asked Ed, mouth agape when the plane landed.

It's the island!" said Roy.

"It's a tropical wasteland! We'll never get through this!"

"Just be patient, Ed."

Meanwhile, on the plane…

"Ok, so that's everything. Let's go out and set up camp." Maria Ross said with some other cast members following behind her. But all plans stopped when Hughes found the button.

"OMG OMG! A button! Dudes! Come look! I found a button! I wonder what it does? Although it does say: "Don't press or imminent doom will come", but I will unwisely ignore that!" So, what did he do? Yep, he pressed the button.

The plane with all their stuff exploded and Feury, Falman, Havoc, and Breda all stood at salute while that sad music played in the background.

"Will you shut up?!" Yelled Envy at the violinist who was playing the sad music.

"I can't the author is paying me."

"Well, then I will kill you!"

"No you won't!" came a voice from nearby. 4 men fell to the ground ungracefully.

"Who the hell are you guys?" asked envy.

"We're the Men In Tights!" Said Armstrong/Baracus.

"…o..kay."

"We shall sing our theme for you now!" Said Roy/Hannibal.

Cue the Men In Tights music from chapter…13.

Now while this was going on, we go back to the exploding plane.

"Damn thing takes a long time to blow up." Said Denny Brosh.

"I SHALL NOT BE SILENCED!!!!! And here are some free pictures of my darling daughter, Elicia!" Shouted Hughes as he was shot 1,454,983,574,856.314159 miles into the air.

Well, it was his own fault…

_There's nothing better than your friends_

_there's no problem you can't win_

_someone who's always got your back_

_not giving about this and that_

_Just hanging out_

_just having fun_

_we're number one_

_just hanging out_

_just having fun_

When Roy found out about the exploding plane he was not pleased. In fact he was so mad he decided to maul Envy and blame everything on him. Who wouldn't?

But because This involves too much violence for the younger readers, we will have to show you this again. You all know and love them:

"Let's get some Ice cream Mr. Snookums!"

"I love Ice cream Mr. Poogle-Woogle!"

"I wuv…" Mr. Poogle-Woogle's sentence was cut off by Aryn and Brandi running in with flamethrowers and pitchforks and completely destroyed Mr.Snookums and Mr.Poogle-Woogle. **(Be grateful Aryn and Brandi! I put u guys in the story so you'd better review!) **

"So, what are we going to do now?" Asked Winry who for some reason hadn't said anything this chapter.

"We will dance!" bellowed Wrath/Face who was still in his men in tights uniform so I have to call him Face. Sorry.

"EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!" Shouted Russel in a really high pitched squeaky voice.

"here's the dome, back to the beat the jam is right in the fact that I don't waste time! Off the mic and the beat jumps, jump to the rhythm, jump jump to the rhythm…" Sang Ed in an oddly deep voice.

_I'm a dude_

_he's a dude_

_she's a dude_

_we're all dudes, hey_

_I'm a dude_

_he's a dude_

_she's a dude_

_we're all dudes, hey_!

_It's all about meeting new faces_

_a smile is on your face and_

_you can't erase it_

_partying on, it's going on_

_partying on, to the break of dawn_

_It's time to put hard times behind_

_Get all the bad things off your mind_

_Just hanging out_

_just having fun_

_we're number one_

_just hanging out_

_just having fun_

_Just hanging out_

_just having fun_

_we're number one_

_Uh, wait what are we doing now?_

_Uh, yo, we're breaking it down..._

_Rock on dude, haha"_

_I'm a dude_

_he's a dude_

_she's a dude_

_we're all dudes, hey_

_I'm a dude_

_he's a dude_

_she's a dude_

_we're all dudes, hey_!

_**DUUUUDDDEEEEEEEEEEE**_

**Yes, I ended it abruptly. ADD. And the majority of people wanted Mr. Poogle-Woogle and Mr. Snookums dead, so yeah. Aryn and Brandi especially wanted them dead. Thanks Guys!**

**Aryn: mehehehehe! **

**Brandi: I thought only Aryn wanted them dead…**

**Me: WHO CARES!**

**Roy; I liked them!**

**Me: Again, WHO CARES?!**

**Brandi and Roy: T.T**

**To view the videos that inspired this chapter and the videos that inspired the others, go to my profile. Aryn, do the disclaimer.**

**Aryn: Mar owns no rights to FMA or the band Less Than Jake.**

_No portion of this parody story may be reproduced,stolen,or copied by another author in any way without the permission of AnimeAddict333. _

_©2007, Fairfax, VA. All Rights Reserved._


	18. Furby Invasion

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**Furby Invasion**

**Okey-dokey. This is a parody because it was Aryn's idea, but I used it (with permission of course!) So that makes it a parody, technically. Note the new sponsor name at the top of this page. I created this with the help of Excel Saga so Don't steal it! Be creative! Use your imaginations. Don't copy me. I have added this sponsor title to all the other chapters in this story and to all my other stories. So go check if you want. In this chapter the FMA cast gets turned into furbies. **

**Aryn: Woo-hoo! I was mentioned again! Go me! Take that Brandi!**

**Brandi: .:sicks greed on Aryn and Greed starts making out with Aryn:. HAHA!**

**Aryn: NOOOO! Not again! .:Struggles to get away:.**

**Me,:Eating popcorn:.**

**THE JADE: Greed…Prepare to die!!!! Oh, I have a part in this chapter! YAY!**

**Roy: Since these guys are busy, I'll do the next part. Mar doesn't own FMA or the "hail Illpalazzo" chant that will be showing up in this chapter. This could get interesting… .:plays Excel Saga theme song:.**

**Fmachapter69comesouttomorrow!!!**

There was a button. It was a pretty button. Hughes liked pressing buttons. You know this from last chapter. So you can guess what happened next.

"hmmm. A button. It says 'The worst thing that could possibly happen will happen if you press this.' Well, having not learned my lesson from last time, I will once again unwisely ignore that message!" So he pressed the button. Poor, dumb, crazy Hughes.

Hughes was standing in front of the gate. When the doors opened, he saw a picture of Elicia floating in the middle of the doors. So, obviously, he ran toward it. As he ran, that weird slow-motion running music played in the background. I'm sure you all heave heard of it. But when he got to the photo, it quickly changed into a skull with crossbones as he grabbed it. Then the trademark huge flash of light came.

--------

"Hughes! Wake up Hughes! What the hell did you do?! Wake up so I can hit you and make you pass out again!" Screamed a very angry voice. It was Roy's voice. But his voice sounded…different. It was more high-pitched and sounded robotic-like. It sounded like a…no, oh please no! Thought Hughes. Anything but a-

He opened his eyes, and sure enough, glaring at him was Roy. Roy the furby. He looked at himself…he was a furby too!

"Hughes what the hell did you do?!" Roy demanded again.

"Well, the button, and the gate with the photo and the retarded music and the skull and the…wha???" Hughes stumbled over his words. He looked at himself and Roy over again. Yes they were furbies but they still had traits that were distinguishable. For example, the Roy furby was the color of his hair and had his flame alchemy symbol on his back. The Hughes Furby was wearing glasses and had an awfully bug mouth.

But at that moment, there were many shouts and yells coming from outside. Hughes and Roy waddled over and saw that everyone was turned into furbies.

"Hughes! How are you going to revert this?"

"I..I don't know! I just pushed the button.."

"How many times must I tell you to not push random buttons that you find lying around?"

"1,347,896,238.078 times."

Just then, The door to the office flew open with a loud crash.

"MUSTANG! What the hell happened?!"

"Apparently, Hughes pushed another strange button and turned us all into furbies."

The Ed furby was red with the flamel symbol on the back, just like his coat. There was also the all-too familiar blonde antenna sticking out of it's head. The Al furby was shiny-grey with a horn on the top of it's head. It also had the flamel symbol on it's right arm along with the purple loincloth.

"Hughes, How many times have I told you to not press strange buttons?" The Ed furby asked.

"I already asked him that, Ed."

"Oh."

Meanwhile…

"OMG, Now I'm even more prettier! All the boys will want to date me now!" Declared the Envy furby. It looked like a black furby with purple eyes and the orobourous tattoo.

"okayyy…I'll pretend I didn't just hear that." Said the Greed furby. It had sunglasses and was black with pointy teeth and spiky hair.

"DIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" Screamed THE JADE furby coming out of freaking nowhere.

'uh oh…' thought the Envy and greed furbies at the same time.

But because this scene is again too violent to see and Mr. Snookums and Mr. Poogle-Woogle are dead courtesy of Aryn and Brandi, we give you this instead.

The Noa and Rose Furbies appeared on screen and did a chant…thing that went like this:

"We both work for Father Cornello. Rose does it 'cuz she thinks he's so hotso. As for Noa, she just DIES a lot so, HAIL FATHER CORNELLO! We both work for Father Cornello, Rose wants to give him all that she's gotso! Noa simply never gave it a thought so, HAIL FATHER CORNELLO!"

Yeah, and then they were both killed by THE JADE furby who had finished killing Envy and Greed furbies.

Now I don't have anymore methods of censoring stuff…sigh, .:sulks her way back to the drawing board:.

"Don't worry, faithful citizens! We, The Furbies In Tights, can help rid us of this hellish curse bestowed upon us!" Yelled the Wrath/Face furby.

"Furbies In Tights! Assemble to form the MEGA-CHAINSAW-ZOMBIE FURBY!" Yelled the Ed/Murdoch Furby. All the Men In Tights Furbies Joined together and formed a huge screwed up demented furby. But sadly they all died because the Peggy and Brandi furbies along with the Shelby And Riza furbies drenched the giant thing with the hose. **(Aryn, I think Brandi Beat you this chapter… Brandi: DAMN STRAIGHT!) **

Lessee, what am I forgetting…The Al furby was crying because no one ever gave him a part in these things…OH YEAH! The Jay furby was just crushed By the Marilyn furby who was driving an 18-wheeler at 145 mph down the highway. Mehehehe.

Meanwhile, The Sloth furby was stuck. She would short-circuit herself, then reform, then short-circuit herself again. And it just went on like that. Because she was made of water and furbies are electrical so when they come in contact with water they short-circuit and die. But Sloth kept reforming and all that so she was quite unhappy.

It was all chaos then as the Ling furby chased the Ed furby in circles screaming "Bestest Friend" over and over again. And Al was still crying. And I'm out of ideas for this chapter so I'm going to end it now.

**Goshthatwasadisturbingchapter**

**Sorry, Jay for killing you, but you gotta review. Ok, thank you Aryn and Brandi because you guys are really fun to chat with online. Check out Brandi and Aryn's Fan Fiction accounts. Aryn's is Shoushin and Brandi's is AngelOfIshbal.**

**Aryn and Brandi: Go Us!**

**Me: Ok, here's the deelio, **

**Roy: Don't ever say that again…**

**Me: ANYWAYS, If any of you people reading this can draw fan art of the FMA furbies, send it to me and I will post a link to it on my profile. I will also add you in as one of the people who talks in the authors notes and you will receive a special shout-out. It can be a drawing of any of the Furbies or even a drawing of an FMA furby that wasn't in the story. You can submit a drawing of up to 2 furbies. WOOT.**

**Roy: Who the hell would want to do that?!**

**Aryn: Shut Up Roy! Some people would! **

**Roy: Yeah right.**

**Aryn: You wanna start something?**

**Me: AS these two fight, I would like to say that you can see the videos relating to this chapter on my profile. To send me the fan art, my email address is on my profile.**

_All Titles and slogans ©2007 of AnimeAddict333. No one may use her Ideas without permission. Quack Experimental FanFiction® is solely property of AnimeAddict333 and Excel Saga. Don't steal her ideas. All rights Reserved._


	19. FullMetal Yahoo

**Roy: Should I use Marilyn's opening thingy? Well, she won't mind. She left us in charge! So here goes! .:plays intro to Excel Saga theme:.**

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**A Chat Conference…Hoo Boy**

**The chapters authored by friends. Pt.1**

**Courtney's story.**

**Roy: YAY! Here I am! The in-charge person! Because Marilyn wants to take a break for a bit her friends will be the ones publishing these next few chapters! And all will be controlled by me!**

**Riza: What happened to Aryn and Brandi? I believe Marilyn asked them to hold down the fort. **

**Roy: Ummm… .:shifty eyes:. I dunno…**

**Somewhere in the Pacific ocean floating in a box: Hey get us out! Damn you Roy! When I get my hands on you you're d-e-a-d! Don't you think that's a little harsh, Brandi? What? He's the one who stranded us here!**

**2 hours later…**

**Aryn: Ok, we're here. Aghhh! Where are Mar's instructions? What are we supposed to do again?**

**Brandi: Ummmm, Do all the disclaimers and annoying authors notes stuff?**

**Aryn and Roy: That'll work.**

**Riza: Brandi, Aryn, and Courtney do not own FMA. Courtney is the one who typed this chapter. Her Pen Name on here is Kianna13. And AnimeAddict333 is the one who owns the opening titles featured on every chapter of the story. Huzzah.**

**Roy: What am I? Chopped Liver?!**

**Brandi: That's MY line!!**

**WHYDIDMARLEAVEUSINCHARGE?**

Ed: Ibroughtsexyback

Al: Ilovekitties

Roy: insanefiremaker

Winry: automailjunkie

Riza: numberonegungal

---

ibroughtsexyback has made a conference

Ilovekitties has joined conference

Automailjunkie has joined conference

Insanefiremaker has joined conference

Numberonegungal has joined conference

----

Al: Brother why are you starting a conference when I'm right here?

Ed: because I want to and is to lazy to call Roy, Riza and Winry.

Al: oh well you didn't have to invite me I'm right next to you.

Ed :I know that

Roy: FullMetal y did you start this conference thing?

Ed: go up and you will see y and your e-mail is so true.

Roy: oh and yep and FullMetal you did NOT bring sexy back i did.

Ed: No you didn't your as sexy as a dead rat that's been dead for two years.

Roy: what the? yes I did bring sexy back I even make sissy sparkles sexy

Ed: No you don't Armstrong dose **(Brandi: Armstrong aint sexy)**

Roy: You know what i might just send you on a mission to get you out of my hair

for a while

Ed:i'm not in your hair I'm not even in the same room as you

Roy: But you are small enough

Ed: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT EVEN A DUSTMITE CAN STEP ON

HIM!!!!!!

Al: (restraining ed) BROTHER CALM DOWN

Riza: You two knock it off before I have to shoot you both!

Roy:00

Ed: Lieutenant, you can't shoot me cause you have to ride a train for 4 hours to get here and by then me and Al will be gone. HA.

Riza: Edward don't back talk me

Ed: You're not my mom so you can't tell me what to do so nanananananana

Al: I don't think you should do that brother remember we have to go to central sometime

Ed: 00 oops I forgot about that Al when we do go too central can you hide me?

Al: sorry brother but you brought it upon yourself

Ed:AL YOU TRAITER I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME NOW YOU WANT ME TO DIE WHAAAAAA(goes emo) **(Aryn: 0o)**

AL: brother that's not what I meant I don't want you to die I just want you to learn from your mistakes.

Roy: 00 ok who's the older brother?

Ed: me y?

Roy: because Al is ALOT more mature then you and is only 14 and

You at age 15 act like a 2 year old.

Ed: I DO NOT ACT LIKE I'M 2 YEARS OLD I DON' I DON'T I DON'T (stomps on the ground like a 5 year old)

Roy: yes you do your act like it right now FullMetal

Ed: NO I DON'T

Roy: does someone by the name of Edward have to take a nappy wappy? **(Aryn, Brandi, Roy, Riza, and many other people: 0o..nappy-wappy? WTH, Courtney?) **

Ed: NO I DON'T...and what the hell, did you just say nappy wappy?

Roy: yes, why does it offend you or something?

Ed: no but WHY THE HECK DID YOU PUT NAPPY WAPPY?!?!?

Roy: because that's what my mommy always said when she asked if I needed a nap

Ed: you still call your mom mommy?

Roy: yes

Ed: lol, you talk like a baby

Roy: no I don't at least I don't act like A WITTLE 2 YEAR OLD **(Riza: Wittle, sir?) **

Ed: damn it Roy! WHY did you have to bring up that subject AGAIN?

Roy: hehe because it's fun to get you mad

Al: I LIKE PIE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE **(Aryn: So do I!)**

Ed: WHAT THE Al?

Roy: ooooook that was random

Al: hehe i know SHINY THINGS RULE AND BECAUSE I'M SHINY I WILL RULE THE WORLD MWHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Ed: 0.0

Roy: 0.0

Al: mwhahahahahahahaha EVIL LLAMAS ATTACK

Ed:WHOA NO AHHHHHHHHHHHHH NO NOT THE LLAMAS ANYTHING BUT THAT

Roy: (some of the llamas are in central) NOOOOOOOOOOOO PLAESE AL STOP THE LLAMAS!!!

Al: NEVER BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA COME TO ME MY PRETTIES

Ed: NOOOOO OH DEAR GOD HELP US AHHHHHHHHHHH NO YOU STUPID LLAMAS STOP

AHHHHH (hears a crack and looks at automail it is totally busted up)

Ed: oh man Winry is going to kill me with that evil wrench of hers

Winry: did I just read that you broke MY AUTOMAIL (throws wrench at Ed's head)

Ed: I didn't break it al did with his evil llamas and (gets hit with the

Wrench) OW THAT HURT

Winry: it was supposed to moron

Ed: hey I'm not a moron if I was a moron I wouldn't be able to type

Winry: I know that tell me something I don't know

Ed: ok well last week when me and Al came to visit you I stole your diary and I've been reading it

Winry: OMG ED so that's why I can't find it HOW DARER YOU ED GIVE ME BACK MY DIARY YOU DIARY STEALER!!

Ed: oh god is that the best name you can think of a retarded monkey can think of a better name then that like SECREAT READER

Winry: that is a better name so that must mean that your a retarded monkey **(Roy: good point there, but come on! Ed and Win love each other! Brandi: THIS IS A NO PAIRINGS FIC! Keep your trap shut about that unless it is a pairing fic!)**

Ed: NO THAT JUST MEANS I'M SMARTER THEN YOU DUMB BLONDE

Winry: ok Ed I hope you know that YOUR A BLOND TO SO WHEN YOU CALL ME A DUMB BLOND YOUR CALLING YOUSELF ONE TO STUPID!

Ed: I didn't come here to get insulted

Winry: where do you usually go? And if you didn't want to get insulted then y'd you even make this conference?

Ibroughtsexyback has left conference

Automailjunkie has left conference

Al: I WILL RULE THE WORLD

Ilovekitties has left conference

Insanefiremacker has left conference

Numberonegungal has left conference

**SERIOUSLYMARWHYUS?**

**Aryn: OK! Part one is done! Let's all give a round of applause for Courtney! **

**Roy: I like it better with Mar gone…**

**Brandi: Don't let her hear you say that. She'll chainsaw u with Plue.**

**Riza: Oh, Due to the major spelling editing this chapter required, for future reference, make sure words are spelled correctly before handing them in!**

**Aryn: Ok, what do we do now?**

**Roy: Ummm, we sign off and put Mar's little disclaimer thing in italics at the bottom…I guess.**

**Brandi: Chapter written by: Courtney (Kianna13); Chapter edited by the staff here at Experimental Quack FanFiction; Chapter hosted by Aryn, Brandi, Riza, and the guy who locked us in a crate! JA NE! Oh! I almost forgot! .:summons greed:. **

**Aryn: NOOOOO! NOT AGAIN!!!**

_Bucket O' Parodies and Quack Experimental FanFiction ©2007 of AnimeAddict333. The chapter posted today ©2007 of Kianna13. No portion of this work may be sold, copied, or re-used without the permission of the owners. All rights reserved._

**Brandi: Did I do it right? Please leave a review for AnimeAddict333 and/or Courtney. AND MARILYN WAS SAD BECAUSE JAY REVIEWED HER STORY SO NOW SHE CAN'T LIQUIDATE HIM! And she had a stomach ache today. So review to show her you care in her time of sickness. .:Mourns:. ANNND! Reviewer Numbers 99, 100, and 101 get a special prize! She has 88 reviews now so...start reviewing!  
**


	20. Whatever this is

**Roy: -dances around playing the YMCA song- YMCA!!**

**Brandi: -sweatdrop- Roy... wrong song...**

**Roy: I don't care if it's the wrong song!**

**Aryn: Well I do!! -rips YMCA cd out of the player and puts in Excel Saga cd, and pushes play, opening theme plays-**

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

_**The chapters authored by friends. Pt. 2**_

_**Aryn's Story**_

**Aryn: OMFG! It's my turn!**

**Everyone: -giving Aryn a weird look-**

**Aryn: What?**

**Brandi: Bring in the men in white coats!**

**Aryn: What! No! -runs off- I'd rather have Greed attack me again!**

**WHYDOESBRANDICONSTANTLYATTACKMEWITHGREED?**

Ed was randomly walking around, then he saw Hughes... and guess what Hughes was doing, yep he found another button! **(Everyone: AGAIN!?!)**

"No Hughes don't press that!" Ed cried, but it was too late Hughes pushed the button. BOOM!

There was a huge explosion which sent poor Ed flying through the air, and he landed in Canada but they hated him so they threw him out, so now he was in the United States... well actually he was right now in California.

Ed sat up, he had a bump on his head the size of a bus, no seriously it was the size of a bus. "W-Where am I?" Ed looked around he was in a building, his eyes widened, there were people in strange clothes, and they were all staring at him.

"OMG! He looks just like Edward Elric!" cried a mysterious fangirl.

Suddenly hundreds of people surrounded poor Ed.

"Hey cool automail arm!"

"Did you make this?"

"Let me have it!"

"Omg! He has an automail leg too!"

"He went all out!"

Ed was getting scared so he quickly ran out of the crowd, he continued to run, until he ran straight into a sign.

"Ow..." Ed read the sign, "Welcome...all...cosplayers... to...Anime Central! Cosplayers? Anime Central? I must still be in Central then..." **(Aryn: Central, Anime Central! Get it? -looking at everyone- Brandi, Courtney, Roy, and Riza: -sweatdrop-)**

Ed walked around cursing Hughes for pushing that button, until he ran into someone. "Oh! I'm sorry!" the girl turned around, Ed looked at her, "Winry! I can't believe you're here too!"

"Who are you? Get away from me!" cried the Winry cosplayer.

"B-But Winry!" Ed put his hand on her shoulder.

"Hey! Get away from our friend!" yelled a couple of Excel Saga and Inuyasha cosplayers. They started to attack Ed, "Gah!" Ed ran away from them, he finally got away, he was panting. "God! Why was Winry with those creepy people?" Ed felt a tap on his shoulder.

He turned to see a Lust cosplayer smiling at him.

"Hi! Are you by yourself?" she asked.

"Uh...Uh..." Ed stuttered, right now he was scared to death, he didn't know if it was because she was a homunculus or it was because she was smiling.

"Well?" the Lust cosplayer asked again.

"Hey!!" someone yelled from behind them. Ed and the Lust cosplayer turned to see who was yelling, and it was a Envy cosplayer with a Wrath cosplayer, and a Sloth cosplayer with him.

_Oh Shit!_ Ed thought, the Lust cosplayer happily went over to her friends, dragging Ed with her.

"Everyone! I found this Ed cosplayer by himself, can he walk around with us?" the Lust cosplayer asked cheerfully.

"Sure, I could use someone to kill." the Envy cosplayer said, even though he was joking Ed thought he was serious.

"Brother, don't be mean..." the Wrath cosplayer said, tugging on his brother's green wig.

"Hey! Don't pull on it!" the Envy cosplayer yelled holding onto the wig.

The Sloth cosplayer went over to Ed, "Sorry about that... he was just kidding."

Ed looked at her, he slowly nodded his head, "O-Okay..."

The Sloth cosplayer patted his back, "Don't be so nervous, we're all friends here!"

Ed was definetly getting creeped out, _Why are the homunculi being so nice? It must be a trap._

Ed backed away from them, " Y-You don't fool me! You're trying to trick me!" he quickly ran off.

" Hey! Wait!" cried the Envy, Sloth, Wrath, and Lust cosplayers, but Ed was long gone.

" He was weird." said the Wrath cosplayer

His friends agreed with him and walked off.

Ed sat down on a bench, he tired of running away from these strange people, even the homunculi were acting strange.

_It must of been that stupid button Hughes pushed! It made everything looney!_ **(Roy: Sure blame the button...)**

Suddenly Ed heard someone yell, "Alright everybody! Here's the song 'Geisha Dreams' " Ed then started to hear music, and now he saw people dancing, he even saw the homunculi dancing.

_Empty heart and empty soul A lover on remote control All colors fade to gray The more they play this love charade_

_Why dont you see, why dont you feel that love is free?_

Ed was in complete shock by all the people dancing, he was suddenly pulled to the dance floor by a Al cosplayer.

"A-Al?" Ed looked at him, but the cosplayer disappeared in the crowd.

_Ichi-gi ichi-go All alone in Tokyo Dont you see? Dont you know? They have nowhere else to go Ichi-gi, ichi-go Far away from Tokyo_

_They believe In Geisha Dreams_

Suddenly Ed felt his body move on it's own, he started to dance to the strange oriental sounding music. **(Brandi: Ed? Dance? HA!)**

Ed tried to stop dancing as soon as he started but he couldn't stop, he looked around, everyone was completely enjoying the dance.

_Perfect body and perfect smile An illusion for a while Born to love and trained to please And paid to put your mind at ease  But dont you see, but dont you feel that love is free?_

_Ichi-gi ichi-go All alone in Tokyo Dont you see? Dont you know? They have nowhere else to go Ichi-gi, ichi-go Far away from Tokyo  They believe In Geisha Dreams_

Ed was completely lost in the dance, and so was everyone else, they were having to much fun.

Ed felt like break dancing right there, and he started to.

_All your love and hopes and dreams All you feel down deep inside aintt real Dont count for anything Cause Geisha dreams aren't meant to be  Why dont you see, why dont you feel that love is free?_

Yes, Edward Elric was break dancing during an Anime convention.

Everyone was clapping for him, and taking pictures, some took out their video cameras.

_Ichi-gi ichi-go All alone in Tokyo Dont you see? Dont you know? They have nowhere else to go Ichi-gi, ichi-go Far away from Tokyo  They believe In Geisha Dreams_

When the song ended a while later, Ed stopped break dancing and noticed everyone looking at him again. He was so embarrassed he ran out of the crowd.

Ed seems to be running away a lot doesn't he? Ed was now outside of the convention building, he looked up at the sky, wondering when he'll finally get away from these strange people.

"Look it's Edward!" a fangirl yelled, Ed yelped, he ran away, and now he was being chased by fangirls.

**GODIHATEYOUGREED**

**Riza: Part two is now complete... and this chapter was hosted by; Aryn, Brandi, Roy, and me... Riza.**

**Aryn: Yes! Oh... I wrote the chapter! (Shoushin) And I still hate Greed!**

**Brandi: You know you don't hate Greed, Aryn!**

**Aryn: I do hate him!**

**Roy: Sure you do...**

**Aryn: Roy shut up! -whacks him over the head with a water bottle-**

**Brandi: -sweatdrop- Well... here's Mar's little disclaimer thing in italics... Oh and to keep tradition... -summons Greed and he attacks Aryn-**

**Aryn: NOOO! Brandi, I'll kill you!!**

_Bucket O' Parodies and Quack Experimental FanFiction ©2007 of AnimeAddict333. The chapter posted today ©2007 of Shoushin.© The Song 'Geisha Dreams' belongs to the artist, Rollergirl. No portion of this work may be sold, copied, or re-used without the permission of the owners. All rights reserved._


	21. Guess Who Wrote This?

**Brandi and Roy: YMA! It's fun to stay at the YMCA-A!**

**Aryn: How many times do I have to tell you?! That's the wrong song! Losers. **

**Roy: Hey!**

**Riza: I agree with Aryn. .:Switches tapes and plays Excel Saga opening theme:. **

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**Guess Who's Story.**

**Aryn:wooooooo!!! Next chappy yahhhhhh!**

**Brandi: WO WO WOW OW OWOWOW! I'M ON CRACK!**

**Roy: When's Mar coning back? I'm tired of these idiots.**

**Aryn: Whacks Roy in the head with a water bottle.**

**Riza: I just talked to Mar. She said in these words "I'm looking for 2 idiots to replace the current ones."**

**Aryn and Brandi: HEY! Oh! And Aryn is happy because this chappy was done by another Excel Saga fan! Watch Excel Saga foos!**

**WHYWOULDMARWANTTOREPLACEUS?**

It was Ed's birthday. Everyone was gathered around to give presents and sing. I guess.

Soon, it was time for Hughes' present. And guess what he got him? Yep! A button! **(Brandi: mar, your button idea is popular…) **This button was pretty. It was blue with green sparkles. You just HAD to press it.

But Hughes didn't let Ed press it. He wanted it all to himself. So you know the drill. Hughes pressed the button sending the world into otter chaos.

When Ed awoke, he was in a strange place. And he thought that he was even shorter than usual. After beating himself up, he went to the mirror. What he saw shocked him. He had been turned into a white dog! Le gasp!

'gah! What the hell is this?! Stupid Hughes! I've told him enough times not to push buttons! Especially my buttons!' Ed thought to himself. But then he heard a noise.

"_MENCHIIIIIIIIIIIII!!! WHERE ARE YOU MENCHIIIIIII?!" _Came a loud and annoying voice from behind. 'Menchi?' thought Ed.

"MENCHI! THERE YOU ARE! I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU!" Ed noticed that this girl was holding a frying pan and spatula in one hand and spices in the other. 'I have a baaaaaaaad feeling about this…'

"I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU ALL NICE AND TASTY MENCHI!" The next thing Ed knew, he was being chased around the house and wondering why this sadistic dog-hating girl was trying to cook him. But he still didn't know where he was. But, suddenly, something fell on her head and she lost her train of thought so she ran off to see what it was.

Meanwhile Ed was desperately trying to escape. So he tried to open the door. He tried kung-fu and pounding on the door with a giant mallet (which greatly annoyed the neighbors). He was about to blow the door down with dynamite but one of the annoyed neighbors came to see what all the ruckus was about.

"Hey, what the hell is going on here?! Right when I'm about to eat some ramen with lukewarm water too." As he opened the door, Ed dropped the dynamite and looked at the opening door in front of him. The 'Ode To Joy' started playing and little angels came down around Ed's head. Once he stepped out the door, he looked to his savior and bowed his head in appreciation.

"Uh…you're…welcome?" Said the neighbor. Ed then jumped down from the ledge and into the street, his little angels and the ode to Joy following him.

As he was enjoying his freedom, he passes a bunch of strange people. They apparently called themselves the AFRO WARRIORS. But his day took a turn for the worst. As he was strolling down the street and barking the Ode To Joy, the crazy dog-eating lady came back.

At first she didn't notice Ed, but then she saw him. Oops. The Ode To Joy quickly stopped playing as she chased him down the road.

"MENCHIIIII! MENCHIIIII! MENCHIIIIII!!" When she finally caught him, the little angels left into the sky as Ed whined and cried his little doggy eyes out. He slumped.

"HEY, MENCHI? WHERE DID ALL THE ENERGY YOU JUST HAD A MINUTE AGO GO?" Asked the crazy lady who always yelled.

Just then, a really cute thing passed by. "Puchuu!" it said.

"AWWWWW! IT'S SO CUTE! YES, YOU'RE THE CUTEST THING IN THE WORLD! BUT WHO THE HECK CARES?!" Said the crazy lady. The Puchuu's face turned really ugly and it got a really low, deep voice. Strange.

But then her attention turned back to Ed and well, the next part is too violent to put in here so…yah. Here we present Brandi with funny but useless crap for your everyday life. Information provided by Mar's friend, Peggy.

Did You Know... If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

**(let's yell!)**

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

**(Who needs to know this?)**

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. **(O.M.G.!)**

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

**(Creepy.)**

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

**(Do not try this at home. Maybe at work.)**

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the

length of a football field.

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

**(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)**

Butterflies taste with their feet.

**(Something I always wanted to know.)**

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

**(Hmmmmmm...)**

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

**(This is bad luck for you, Mar. You gonna die sooner than me.)**

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

**(So they can't bend their knees? Then why do they have knees?)**

A cat's urine glows under a black light.

**( .:monitors cat's pee:.)**

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

**(I know some people like that.)**

Starfish have no brains.

**(I know some people like that too.)**

Polar bears are left-handed.

**(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)**

Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's

sensors so they don't know you're there.

**(no duh.)**

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

**(Did I need to know that?)**

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

**(Interesting)**

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

**(How did they figure that out?)**

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

**(can't think of a comment)**

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.

**(1 olive…such a difference)**

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

**(in Mar's house it's cat hair)**

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

**(I feel sorry for Mickey Mouse)**

A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.

**(But if it's a sound, it has to echo…)**

Turtles can breathe through their backsides.

**(Didn't really need to know that…)**

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined.

**(YAY! Hurricanes!)**

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

**(Why…? I don't wanna know…)**

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

**(someone has waaay to much time on their hands)**

It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.

**(No it aint)**

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

**(No wonder Americans are the fattest people in the world…)**

**YAYDONEIGUESS**

**Aryn: Thank you Brandi for that…interesting report. And you too Peggy! Oh, And we are not going to say who wrote this chapter. Know why? Because if you can't figure it out, you are dumb. You should be able to identify them by the style of writing.. Come on, it's easy. Leave the guess in your review. PLEASE review because this story has almost 100 reviews and reviewers number 99, 100, and 101 get to be in the authors note…things.**

**Brandi: Aryn, you get too much talking time. - -;**

**Roy; I was hardly in this one!**

**Riza: I'm just here to keep you all in check.**

**Aryn: Come on, We want reviewwwwsssss!!!!! PLEASE.**

_**Quack Experimental FanFiction ©2007 of AnimeAddict333 and this story is ©of the person that you are about to guess wrote this. No part of this fic may be reproduced, sold, or copied without Mar's permission. All Rights Reserved. AnimAddict333 does not own FMA or Excel Saga.**_

**Brandi: YAY! I did the disclaimer thingy!**


	22. Riza And The Pizza Hut Guy

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**Pizza Hut Guy **

**Aryn: That was a boring title…**

**Me: Well, I'm running out of title Ideas! **

**Peggy: Well, it'll make people wonder…**

**Brandi: I haven't been on MSN Messenger in a long time! So Mar is gonna kill me soon! **

**Me: Right you are! Ok, This chapter is not my idea. It is the genius idea of my friend Michelle. She did this during a chat so yeah. HAHA. Read it. AND REVIEW OR DIEEEEE!!!!**

**isDcmerlai: I od otn won MFA. fI I idd, hits rowld uwodl eb proucrt. HA! Try to figure that one out! MWAHAHAHAHA!**

Indicates Riza Hawkeye

_Indicates Pizza Hut Guy_

_**Indicates manager**_

**(Indicates annoying authors notes)**

* * *

Riza was hungry. Yes she was. She was in the Mood for pizza! So she called Pizza hut!

_Pizza Hut. How may I help you?_

Yes, can I have 2 large pizzas with extra cheese?

_All Right, that will be $18.50_

Okay

_Your Pizza Will be ready in about 30 minutes._

Hold on, what did I order again?

_2 large pizzas with extra cheese._

I NEVER ORDERED THAT!

_Miss, yes you did._

YOU LIAR! I ORDERED ANCHOVIES! **(ewwww.)**

_Ok, fine then. 2 large anchovies._

Wait. ANCHOVIES???? WHEN DID I SAY ANCHOVIES????

_YOU SAID ANCHOVIES A MINUTE AGO!_

WELL, I SAID 2 LARGE PIZZAS WITH EXTRA CHEESE. DO.YOU.UNDER.STAAAAAND???

_-Grits teeth- I just said that THE FIRST TIME! _

What? 2 large pepperonis? That was exactly what I wanted. –mutters- I can't believe you people can't take a simple order…

_WHAT DO YOU WANT?????_

I already told you. Anchovies.

_MA'AM, MAKE UP YOUR MIND! I DON'T WANT TO PLAY GAMES WITH YOU. EITHER YOU ORDER SOMETHING OR JUST HANG UP. _

I JUST WANTED MY TWO LARGE PIZZAS WITH EXTRA CHEESE, ANCHOVIES, AND PEPPERONI! WEREN'T YOU LISTENING?? OH MY GOD. I WANT TO TALK TO THE MANAGER. BECAUSE I THINK SOMEONE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT YOUR DISABILITY.

_Ma'am, I think you're the one with the disability. _

What???

_Memory loss._

-is offended and hangs up-

-calls again-

_Pizza hut, how may I help you?_

…

_hello?_

…

_HELLO?_

Shhh…

_Excuse Me?_

I said SHHHH!

_What? Look, can I just take your order?_

Two…large…pizzas…with…extra…cheese…-whispers-

_YOU AGAIN!!_

I said shut up! –hisses-

_Look, Ma'am, I have no idea what kind of game you're playing but I'm about to hang up now…_

Wait!

_Now…_

NO! Okay, I'll order, I'll order.

_Waiting._

Two large pizzas with extra cheese.

_All Right. Are you sure? _

Yes.

_Really?_

Ye-wait. No.

…

What? What are you waiting for? Make me a pizza already!

_You just said you weren't sure! _

I did? About what?

_HANGING UP NOW…_

LOOK, MR. FUN AND GAMES, I JUST WANTED TO ORDER TWO PIZZAS. IS THAT SO HARD TO DO WITH YOU???

_-hangs up-_

-calls again-

_WHY ARE YOU CALLING?? CALL PAPA JOHNS! I'm sure Papa Johns can put up with you._

Vhat ore yuu talkhing abot?

_Oh, sorry Ma'am. There was this other person on the phone who was literally driving me nuts. _

I know da feelin.

_So, anyways, how can I help you?_

I vould like 2 lerge pizzas vith extra cheese.

_-hangs up-_

-calls again-

Ok, sir. How long will it take for you to take my order?

_**Hello. This is the manager speaking. **_

AH! Manager! Just what I wanted…look, this guy is obviously crazy. He keeps thinking that I am trying to change the order when it's him who's obviously confusing me. Dude, this guy? Yeah, he has problems. He can't take a simple order.

_**Well, he seems fine. **_

Hey, did he go to the 2nd grade?

_**What? I don't know. I'm pretty sure he did. Hey, why don't we ask him. –in the background- THE LADY OVERR HERE WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU WENT TO THE SECOND GRADE! **_

_-background- WHAT?????_

See/ What did I tell you? WHAT DID I TELL YOU? He's nuts man. Check if he might be high.

_**-in the background- Let me smell your breath…..**WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING???_

You have to do something about him man. I mean, who are you hiring these days? Next a psycho killer might be taking me order. I'm just sayin'

_**You might be right. Joe does look a little bit…off…**_

_I AM NOT OFF, HIGH, OR CRAZY! _

You're right. Definitely mental.

_SHUT UP!_

_WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME????_

There there Joe. That's life, you know? Life isn't fair.

_-Cries-_

_-waits 3 more minutes of complete silence and sobs-_

can I have my order now?

…_okay. 2 large pizzas with extra cheese?_

Yes.

_Ok._

WAIT. WHAT DID YOU SAY??? TWO LARGE PIZZAS WITH EXTRA CHEESE??? I NEVER ORDERED THAT!!!!!!

_-cries with anger-_

WILL YOU JUST GET IT RIGHT? GET IT RIGHT JOE! JUST GET IT RIGHT!

_I quit! _

Well, you'll never stop being mental!

_-screams-_

_**Ma'am, I just want to thank you for making me realize I hired a complete psychopath.**_

No prob.

_You still want your pizzas?_

Yes

_TOO BAD –LAUGHS MANIACLLY- THEY'RE MIIIINNEEE! WAHAHAHAHA!_

* * *

**Roy, Peggy, Aryn, brandi: 0.o WTF?!**

**Me; THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME USE THIS, MICHELLE! **

**AND REVIEW, OK???? PLEASE AND THANK YOU!**

**Brandi: Mar, time for the straight jacket…**


	23. The Most Random Chapter of Them All

**QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:**

**BUCKET O' PARODIES**

**The Most Random Chapter of Them All**

**Roy: Today, everyone will be referred to by his or her penname! Wheee…**

**AnimeAddict333: And! We are introducing 2 new muses today! Paulene and Kaitlyn! Say hi, guys! **

**Hoshi-Ryuu: Hi everyone! **

**Give us peace: HI! **

**Ayumi Elric: Ok, now let us introduce Aryn's replacement! Say hello to Mr.SirManManBob! **

**MSMMB: …**

**SomeStupidKroryFangirl: Doesn't say much does he? **

**Ayumi Elric: NOPE! **

**Hoshi-Ryuu: …wait, why is she being replaced?**

**AnimeAddict333: …I dunnno…. –laughs-**

**Give us Peace: haha. I don't know her that much.**

**SomeStupidKroryFangirl: You've seen us a little on MSN…I think. OH, And I'm gonna be losing my internet access in a bit. **

**Ayumi Elric: Why?**

**Hoshi-Ryuu: Her Uncle is switching jobs. He gets them free internet.**

**Ayumi Elric&Give us Peace: ohhhh. **

**Shoushin: -holds up Mr.SirManManBob- WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!**

**Hoshi-Ryuu: Onee-chan!**

**AnimeAddict333: A rubber chicken! **

**Shoushin: I can see that! But I said not to replace me! **

**AnimeAddict333: oh yeeeeeeeeeeah!**

**Shoushin: -beats AnimeAddict333 with rubber chicken until her brains are splattered all over the floor-**

**AnimeAddict333: Ow…**

**AomeStupidKroryFangirl: Calm down, Aryn! Calm down…LOL**

**Shoushin: SHADDUP BRANDI! **

**Give us Peace: Does she have anger issues?**

**Ayumi Elric: …sometimes….**

**AnimeAddict333(brainless): OK, let's get to the chapter! And here is the disclaimer! Bet you can't understand this one!!! HAHAHAHA! Cuz something is missing from the words! HAHAHA. You won't ficure it out! Dude, the first person to figure out the disclaimer will get a huge shoutout. And Thank you to my wonderful beta, My-Kokoro! **

**Dsclmr: Gss wh s th wnr f FllMtl lchmst? Nt M! **

**Shoushin: I feel like someone is missing from the muses….**

**Give us Peace: Oh. Peggy (P.McTully) is on a trip. She'll be back in about 3 weeks. **

**----the damn line-----**

Maes Hughes was reading a magazine in the safety and comfort of his home. He heard a knocking at the door, so got up to see who it was.

And guess what was sitting there? A BUTTON! Yes, a button. So, he pressed it! Duh.

Soon, he and Adam Sandler were standing at the top of Tokyo Tower. Upon deciding that there wasn't enough room for them both, Hughes shoved Adam off so that the poor actor fell about 300 meters(1) to the bottom where he went splat.

_Meanwhile…_

"It's Mine!"

"No, Mine!"

"MINE!"

"MIIIINEEEEE!"

"IT'S MINE, GODDAMMIT!"

Riza had walked in catching Roy and Edward in a very peculiar situation. They were both in fairy costumes along with Alphonse who had a tutu on.

"What's gouing on in here?!" Asked Riza, very curious to find out why the 3 Alchemists were dressed as such.

"Bradley's putting on a play and the stupid Colonel is taking the blue wings! But the blue wigs are MINE!" Said Ed.

"NO, THEY ARE MINE!"

Riza resolved the argument by shooting them all.

_Back in Lior…._

Rose had just gotten done with her shopping for the day. BUT, after finding out that neither Ed nor her dead boyfriend would ever love her, she decided to let herself go and gained about 102 kilograms(2). Now she was tremendously fat and the only think that would fit her was an old potato sack. So now she would never get any guys because she practically killed herself because she couldn't get 2. Bitch.

Back in Central, Armstrong came up with a new product line that was supposed to make you grow 'huge, glorious muscles.' So, he gave some to Breda who grew so tall he reached above the Tokyo Tower where Hughes still stood showing pictures of Elicia to the passing birds. …which pooped on him and the picture…

So, now Envy had been shopping for miniskirts when all of a sudden Peggy came at him with a heuuuuuge sword and chopped his limbs off…again. And because the sword was stolen, the owner came running after her who just happened to be Kurogane from Tsubasa RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE. But Peggy was too fast and started chopping the heads off of everyone she hated.

After that, Al came up and said he would sell the unused skirts on eBay.

_10 Days later…_

Turns out that Alphonse had made about $24 million on eBay from selling the skirts. And guess who bought them?

"I like big butts and I cannot lie…" Sand Colonel Mustang as he danced around his office while Lieutenants Ross and Hawkeye had been –somehow- forced into the skirts. Colonel was last seen on the ground with bullet holes in his skull. **(don't ask me how he recovered from last time…)**

So then Al bought a Cat Paradise with his newly found riches and had about 3,758,455,683,926,754.2 cats. But then Aryn and Paulene ate them.

BUT! HARK! A little girl was stuck on a slide! Apparently Fletcher had decided to glue her butt to the slide! Guess this is a crime for….

"WE'RE MEN! WE'RE MEN IN TIGHTS! WE ROAM AROUND THE CITY LOOKING FOR FIGHTS!"

then all human, animal, and plant life ran from the scene.

"Where have they gone? What if we need help saving this little girl?" Asked Ed/Murdoch.

"Harumph! We shall need no help rescuing this poor little girl! All we need to do is scrape her off! I, with my glorious manly muscles shall do the honor!" Bellowed Armstrong/Baracus. "Like hell you will! I'll do it! I haven't done anything yet!" Said Roy/Hannibal. How he keeps coming back to life is a mystery.

"No, I'll do it! Or I'll kill you all!" The threat came from Wrath/Face. "If you want to kill us then why did you join the group?" Asked Roy/Hannibal.

"Because I had no choice! The damn author-guy made me!" Wrath/Face Replied. But, then he was immediately dressed in a frilly pink tutu and ballerina slippers and couldn't get them off. "AHH! What the fuck is this?!" He bellowed up to seemingly no one. "PUNISHMENT! I'M A GIRL, DUMBASS!" Screamed the author, who was kinda pissed.

Then Ed/Murdoch slammed him over the head with a submarine "Shaddup! We have to save the girl!"

But, it turns out she had gotten her butt off the chair in her own time and ran far, far away. …again.

Owari.

---line line line-----

_300 meters is about 984 feet_

_102 kilograms is about 225 pounds_

**AnimeAddict333: I haven't updated in a while I think I'm losing my touch…**

**Shoushin: You'll get it again! **

**Hoshi-Ryuu: Yeah! **

**AnimeAddict333: thanks…**

**SomeStupidKroryFangirl: Mar, if it ever takes you 2 months to update again, I swear I will kill you. I swear it…**

**AnimeAddict333: Ehehehe…. OH! And I would like to thank my wonderful Beta, ****My-Kokoro**** for beta-ing this! So, Go read her crack stories! And remember how fat rose was in this chapter? I have fanart for that on my proile! Haha go look!  
**

**AND MY BIRTHDAY WAS ON JUNE 7 AND I WOULD LIKE VERY MUCH FOR REVIEWS AS A B-DAY PRESENT! PLEEEASSSSEEEE! **


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